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1) The legal system seems to get in a hurry, oh, never.

2) I think I must start writing, now, a timeline of my years from age 16 on, so that someday the kids can read it and know the truth. Right now DN is spewing outright lies, and his family either buys it all or thinks it sounds better than the truth, because they are repeating it. Thankfully, the lies don’t even come near the independently verifiable facts, but I think I should write stuff down now. Because the more I write it down for the lawyer, the more I remember. I would like to also keep transcripts of any and all court hearings, and I will ask for a copy of all the documents at the end of this from my lawyer, and I will keep them in our safe. Later, if the kids ask for it (because I do not speak ill of their father in front of them, and I refuse to), I can tell them the information is available when they are sure they really want it. I will let them read it all, without additional input, and then they can ask me questions. Actually, they will probably just ask that I pay their counseling bill, and I will do so.

3) My carefully constructed self-reality that made me able to believe that he wasn’t like this before and just changed into this is crumbling, and I am faced with the idea that I was too young and blind to really fathom what I was in, or so naïve I thought it could be overcome. Either way, this made-reality is crumbling because of the forced history-writing that has been occurring and is shaking me to my core. I mean I’ve come away from a session with my lawyer trembling for hours after. I’m shaking now, actually. I got through almost two years now by allowing myself to believe that he had changed, and apparently it is just as painful coming out of that stage as it was going into it.

4) This will get way more expensive before it’s over. It is very unlikely I will recoup any of this money, even if it is ordered that I am reimbursed, and I am starting a new life with my kids and BF that will already be burdened financially by this horrible man. This is compounded by the legal system allowing the effer to continually not cooperate, outright stall and otherwise gaslight, racking up my bill whilst having his paid by his mother. It’s frustrating, even more so because BF is so very understanding and helpful and willing to stand through it all with me that it creates a stark contrast to the man I am fighting.

5) This is obviously affecting other relationships. My friends, my rocks through all this, are dealing with me unable to hold a reasonable conversation. My mind is wandering, I am distracted. I can’t take any days off to clear my head until a week from now, because we are short staffed until after the last weekend of deer season.

6) I mean REALLY. I know I am in the Midwest in prime redneck country, but MY GAWD deer season? It comes around every year.

7) Hunting. I know this requires a gun, a vest, a permit and some tags. I did not know, beyond that, that it could be such an expensive hobby. BF has been put on notice that, at no time in the future, is he allowed to comment on however expensive a hobby I decide to take up. Period, end of story. If I suddenly decide to collect porcelain pigs, I will do so and the house will be filled with them and he cannot comment on the cost of said porcelain pig (or whatever) habit. CRIMENY.

8) I hate the words “mossy oak”. And I did not know that there were crocs with that pattern until I saw them, and it made me think the end of the world is nigh.

a tad cranky
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