No. of Recommendations: 2
I am trying to avoid the plight of my best friend's father in law who is in his mid 90's, has millions (not just 2 or 3 million either) in investments and refuses to pay for nursing help, yard help, etc., even though he can't take care of himself any more.

Sounds to me this is not a financial issue, rather an issue with your friend's FIL not wanting to admit he is losing control and needs help. Dad acted similarly, becoming more aggressively independent as he realized he was starting to lose autonomy and control over his own life and health. My lesson from Dad is that we need to be very concerned not only about finances, but about how to protect ourselves from ourselves. There comes a point when we can not continue to do it all ourselves and that is life, not failure.

having to wrestle with the family tendency towards Alzheimers as well as stubborn independence
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