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I am wondering if I should go for separate accounts?

I think that there are as many ways to handle this as there are couples. The key to setting up something that works for both of you is to discuss it openly and honestly. I would STRONGLY recommend that you discuss and resolve this issue before tying the knot. Money has a very strong emotional content to some people (See any book by Suze Orman for more on this) and no emotional component to others.

After more than 10 years of marriage, my wife an I have come to this atypical but workable solution. We both work, although I make about 90% of the money. We have a common checking, savings, and investing account(s) which I keep track of. Each of us has a monthly budget for personal spending. She has her own checking and savings accounts. Both of our paychecks are deposited into the common savings account, a fixed amount is regularly deducted and put into a 403(b), and then I transfer the budgeted amount to her account on a monthly basis (I also transfer to her the budgeted amounts for several categories that she prefers to take care of: household, kids clothes, dining out). All of the bills and my personal budget come out of the common account. It's not perfect, but it holds together because it fits with the way we handle money. I tend to accumulate money and save/invest a good portion of my personal money, while she generally spends everything (and sometimes more) in her budget.

This works for us because of our different styles of managing money, although we are constantly refining it. You need to figure out what works for the two of you. It sounds like he has some strong emotional issues with money. I would recommend that you come to him with a creative proposal and be willing to negotiate. Good luck!

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