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I believe that there is an age beyond which seniors/elderly simply can't pull the trigger and make a decision to leave their home for a retirment community of any type. The age isn't a fixed age, but I think the range is somewhere between 75 and 80. In other words, if they don't make a move prior to that age, they are likely to fight tooth and nail to stay in their home until they are taken to the hospital to die or die in bed.

Thanks for your reply. I think you're right. I tried to get Mom to consider the great CCRC place when I successfully persuaded her to downsize and move closer to town when Daddy died (I did wait a year to broach the subject). She was 78--perfect, right?! And she was getting rid of stuff anyway. But at the time she was still hosting dinner and bridge parties and had the occasional house guest. But now the only entertaining is us 4 immediate local family maybe 2-3x a year, and we fit at the kitchen table.

Why she wants a 2200 sq ft house at this point, I don't know. I guess the space makes her feel secure, but it's not like she has a lifetime of memories there. Now she only uses the master BR & bath, a fraction of the home office just to log into her computer for a few minutes every couple of days and enjoy the memorabilia displayed there (she recently showed me a letter I wrote from my summer at music camp--heh, DD said it sounded just like me!), doesn't use her den any more as she watches TV, listens to music, and reads in the anti-gravity chair in her bedroom that my brothers and I got for her after surgery a few years ago. And she could easily manage with a wee kitchenette for what she does in there these days--heating takeout, scrambling an egg, slicing fruit and cheese. And I know she's lonesome for company--all her close friends have died or moved away. sigh.

The best I can do for her now seems to be having her over to dinner regularly, taking her out to lunch & a movie occasionally (she only likes super-sweet rom-coms...oh, the sacrifices I make!), and my new deal of getting facials and taking her on trips to NYC every year to see family and her old stomping grounds. Lest you think the relationship is one way, we are out of town a lot, and she picks up our mail and calls about anything interesting. You know, I think I'll see what movies are playing and if she wants to go to lunch and/or the outlet mall tomorrow!
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