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I don't think men of his generation have any idea how much of a mental burden of running a household with children really takes. If your dad really understood what you do in a month, he would not ask you to take this on.

I think this is a good portion of it, too.

But (and this is definitely part of the overall dynamic) I feel like he should listen and consider - not understand, because how could he? but consider - that I'm actually explaining my life accurately, and he should at the very least allow that *I have more information than he does on the subject*, since it's my life.

I get the occasional "you are too busy! It's not healthy." but usually in the context of "I don't like some of your choices because they are confusing", not "I'm concerned about you, how can I help?"

He just cannot compute that we are busy because we've decided all these things are important, to one of us, both of us or the general well-being and/or the overall chance all of our children become productive citizens. Our money, time and energy are very purposefully allocated. This leave little to no time for things that are not top of the list. I've told my dad before I like spending time with him, but mid-day my one unscheduled day that week is not an option. That reserved for my sanity, because I am important too. Need a kidney or part of my liver, tell me when and where - but noon on a non-tournament Saturday for any of the children, that's also not reserved for one of us to be working, is My Time. I'll be napping, because I like naps.

So yeah, that's definitely in there. With a side dose of guilty feeling in me, because T is a true man of HIS generation and flat pulls at least 1/2 the weight around here. I think that's the key to a good marriage maybe, we each think the other is a super hero pulling more weight than we are, and we thank each other for it. So what am I complaining about?

<SIGH> Being an adult is hard, especially now that I'm old enough people expect me to act like one.

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