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I expect married filing separately will cost me a few thousand dollars, so I'd prefer joint if I could.

File for an extension and show her what it'll cost her?
You have until Oct. to file with an extension...
(still would need to pay any taxes due now, but if she's likely to change her mind, that'd give you some time.)

Of course I don't think that I'd want to file joint with someone who's refusing to do it... Do they have income they aren't telling you? Income from a savings account that they don't want to show you?
Something worse?
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