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No. of Recommendations: 1
I read the thread on seperate accounts and at first I just brushed it off as something that goes against my values. But, I think that might be a better long term solution. That she have her trust send money to her account that she controls and I transfer X per month for kids and then if she still isn't happy then I just need to hand her the employment section of the paper. I can see a bunch of pros and cons and that would be down the road.

That sounds like a good plan; it would give her control over part of the situation. Lack of control frustrates many people, inviting trouble in the form of their taking control somehow. That usually turns out to be overspending just to prove they can.

Be patient with her, though; you mentioned the head injury and that she's having to relearn a lot of stuff. Even though it's slow-going, it is going. You all have paid off $85k in six months; that's something of which you and your DW can be justifiably proud.

Take some time and read your earliest posts to this board. Take note of your progress and of hers. Maybe you could plan a special day just for the two of you or a silly celebration for your family, acknowledging how you are slaying the debt monster.

Have you seen Major League? I think that's the name of the movie where the owner wants to sell the Cleveland Indians but they end up winning the pennant. On the way to the pennant, the coach had a posterboard made up of the team owner. The team removed one piece of her clothing for each game they won. Your DW is very visual so maybe something similar would work for her. You all could make a special time each week to gather as a family and color a part of a debt dragon poster or break a link of a debt chain.

You're doing a great job but it's tough and you have to keep going. Remember also that rewards don't have to cost money; you could offer her a foot rub or cook her breakfast in bed each time she sticks to her budget. Make up a list of rewards at different levels; if she sticks to the budget, she gets this. If she's under budget, she gets a better reward; that kind of thing.

It's tough on you but it's hard on everyone. Keep going, keep your chin up, and you'll do fine. Remember: $85K; take a moment and celebrate that with your family. It's very important to acknowledge and laud your successes; that appreciation provides the impetus needed to keep momentum when you're weary.

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