No. of Recommendations: 4
I think the days of those rebounds are gone for good

Yeah, you're right. There ain't never gonna be another rebound. Congress has outlawed it. Greenspan has vowed to do whatever it takes to prevent it. President-elect BushorGore has promised to call out the National Guard if it happens. Those flying saucers you hear about are people from other planets coming here to have a big meeting every night to plot against the stock market. If there's a rebound, they're going to release giant robo-ants among the population.

Now go out and face the day!
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