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I was at Busch Gardens last year with a coupla friends and we were walking through the petting zoo. First the goats started going at it and all the parents were horrified. The kids obviously wanted to know why the one goat was trying to "piggyback" on the other goat. The parents just turned around and walked away with the kids in tow.

The correct response is, "No Billy, the he-goat is trying to fill the she-goat with his hot goat member. See how she squirms and tries to get away? That's the same thing that your Mom used to do before I learned her not to."

They were not relieved when the ducks started going at it (must have been something in the water). The kids' questions were classic, "Why is that one duck trying to drown the other duck?" Once again the parents avoided the conversation at all costs.

Again, "That's why Mommy and Daddy only pleasure each other in the shower, not the bath or the swimming pool. Of course, as ducks, they can make sweet love and swim at the same time."

My kids will be many things, but well-adjusted is probably not going to be one of them.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...sick little monkey...
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