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I was going to respond to this:

So, I have two choices - file Chapter 13 or try to refinance (I'm talking with a broker this week) to get out from under the $2,500 or so I pay each month to creditors, in addition to regular living expenses.

with a suggestion for credit counseling and a plan for either repayment for BK Chapt 7 might be an option.

Then I saw this:

And one more very important item - DH is unaware of the extent of all this as I just can't bring myself to mouth the words to him yet.

You better reach down into yourself and pull up that backbone and not just mouth the words to him, but freakin' shout them! He has hung around on his backside for 5 years refusing to see a Dr. and spouting nebulous claims of not being able to work due to a mental or physical condition (apparently he can't decide which) while you are struggling to keep this sinking ship afloat? Holy cow, woman! How long do you plan to wait to tell him? After you've been foreclosed on?

One thing I can tell you with certainty: if you don't talk to him about the situation and present a united front to do something about it, the situation will not get batter, no matter how hard you try.

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