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No. of Recommendations: 7
1) There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.

2) Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.

3) They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not..

4) Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would
have matching team colors.

5) June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.

6) Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that
"forsaking all others" part.

7) The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped-up '73 Charger or
some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side
of the car. Better yet, a Harley!

8) Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really
old) would get punched in the head.

9) Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."

10) There would be "Tailgate Receptions."

11) Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time
or between innings.

12) Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

13) Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost
of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really does
add up.

14) Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or
the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local
pub or tavern.

15) Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink
passes at the local lounge.

16) The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted
to her ass.

17) Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog
roast or buckets of chicken, pizza, and plenty of bar-b-que.

18) No one would bother with that veil routine. But they would insist
that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.

19) The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding
(what's the difference) or something.

20) Invitations would read as follow:
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain.
He's getting married.
He either:
A) Knocked her up,
B) Couldn't get a different roommate, or
C) Caved in to her ultimatum.
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him
For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium
On the 50-Yard Line at Half-time during Sunday's Game
Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer,
Nachos and Pizza.
Oh yeah... B.Y.O.B.



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