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If there is nobody capable of buying the gold or paying high prices for lobster, then how can anything but the most basic essentials be considered a hedge?

If you look at the history of countries where there was a currency collapse the economy switches over very fast to silver and gold trading. Specifically, when Argentina's currency defaulted, gold rings were the preferred method of currency. It's not necessarily whether someone can "afford" the gold, but will they accept it.

Since the U.S. dollar is the world's reserve currency still, the risk of the above scenario is virtually zero. But if you lived in a 3rd world country, your gold would have value no matter where you go.

Also consider this. 5 years worth of SPAM would occupy a pretty large area spatially. If you were forced to relocate there would be no easy way to transport the food. But you could carry in your pocket enough gold to buy 5 years of spam easily.
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