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FWIW, my DH's parents went through a messy divorce when DH was in elementary school. There are still issues for him, but he has come out of it a sane, humane, gentle, moral and kind adult.

As an adult, he can *clearly* see the cause/effect of the divorce, regardless of "who" told him "what" at the time. The truth does have a way of rising to the surface, although it may take an awful lot of time to do so.

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