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No. of Recommendations: 37
Reuters NewsWire
by S. Suzuki

"Arlington, VA. Sept 26th (Reuters)

It has been announced that On Tilt, [ticker: EFFU] is making an unsolicited takeover for startup firm Poker Lounge [ticker: POO], a relatively new entrant in the industry of whiny bad beat, 2p2, and $10k by Sept 30 goal threads that has been the topic of much discussion in the market lately.

EFFU is the market leader, with over 50k posts and at least 7 satisfied customers, 3 newbies, 2 wanna-be hotshot pros, a pyromaniac, 5 hOmoha 'experts,' and Neo.

POO is starting to take market share, and has quickly shot past the customer count of industry D.F.Laster Online Poker Info [ticker: ONo] which has failed to gain the necessary traction for eventual profitability.

The Chairman and Founder of POO, Spy Break, said he was most pleased with the amount of traffic and attention he and the site were getting, noting that, "I'll show all those snobby 'content-rich' posters at EFFU how to run a poker board. Here, DF can post his 17th 'Goals for August' content, Naj can whine about how even Nitting leads to massive bad beats, I can link to 2p2, and Fry can be misunderstood more than any woman in poker history. Except Ott."

Longtime crank and EFFU Chief Marketing Officer patchdodd replied, "That new board sucks, I don't understand it, or why we need it, I don't understand spy, I don't understand why you are interviewing me, but I do know how to fold TPTK getting 17-1 in a minbet poker game. So nyah!"
Then he called Spy 'overly sensitive' and cried softly into a Lions #20 jersey.

Reuters attempted to contact world-famous 13-paragraph rebutter PSU, but he was off whoring and fathering children. Limit expert and longtime semi-pro The Perfesser was also unable to be reached as he was playing physics students heads-up for bankrolls vs an 'A' in his graduate course.

However, his voicemail did let us know that Ben and Burghy were wrong about whatever it was that they said, but he didn't have time on his machine to explain why. "

Naj
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