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Too important not to pass on! We all know that TMF can use the maintenance.

2ndMillion

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YEARLY INTERNET MAINTENANCE ANNOUNCEMENT

IT IS URGENT THAT YOU DO NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET FROM MARCH 31st 23:59 GMT (11:59 PM) UNTIL 00:01 GMT (12:01 AM) APRIL 2nd.


It's that time again. As many of you know, each year the Internet must be closed down for a 24-hour period of time in order to receive maintenance, or a "Tune Up" if you will.

Many dead links on the World Wide Web will be removed, as well as ftp links that are no longer used. Lost e-mail will also be removed from the system at this time.

In addition to the normal maintenance to be completed this year, we will also be using new high-pressure information jets to clear out the bottlenecks that have plagued the Internet so greatly this past year. Although the down time for maintenance will be an inconvenience for many people, you will find this will allow for a much more efficient and faster responding internet.

This year, the "Tune Up" will occur from 23:59 GMT (11:59 PM) on March 31st until 00:01 GMT (12:01 AM) on April 2nd. During that 24 hour period, dozens of powerful Internet bots at key locations around the globe will simultaneously scan the Internet and complete the desired maintenance jobs wherever they may be required.

To help protect any valuable data you may have on the Internet from possible corruption, we highly recommend you take the following steps before this 24-hour maintenance period begins:
  -1. Disconnect all terminals and LANs from the Internet.
  -2. Disconnect all Internet servers from the Internet.
  -3. Refrain from connecting any computer, or any other Internet connection device, to the Internet in any way.

Note: The term "other Internet connection device" includes such devices as WebTV.

Again, we understand the inconvenience this will cause many people. And for that, we apologize. However, the great increase in Internet performance you will experience after this short period of maintenance will far outweigh any problems it will cause.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Mr. Yuben T. Ricked
Global Internet Maintenance Organization

Webmasters and Sysops: It is very important that the entire Internet community be notified of the upcoming Internet maintenance before it gets underway. Please direct all of your users and personnel to read this notice ASAP!
Please pass this announcement to all other Internet users you contact as well.
Thank you.
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That's one of the reasons that i use KarmicNet (they never do maintenance), and the Internet is treated like a webpage instead of a main link...so to speak. KarmicNet costs a lot more, but it well worth it.

Karmi
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Can you tell us which of the "subscription" ISPs have agreed to give members a "day's rebate" for this important maintenance ? ?

When my ISP "is down" I ALWAYS CALL and ask for a day's "credit". In the first 6 mo. of my current cable access ISP I only paid for about 3+mo.

Think about it - - - a dollar saved is a dollar earned ! !

Suggest you all call your ISP and ask for a day's credit A.S.A.P. before other users find out about the situation ! !

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Open message to Mr. Yuben T. Ricked (did anyone, really?)

This kind of foolery may seem like a nice laugh, but it can be very dangerous: unfortunately, there are quite a few gullible newbies that will actually disconnect. The goal of such hoaxing trolls as you is exactly the same as those virus-producing hackers: to shut down the world, at least for one or two days. Your type only takes pleasure on the waste of time and money generated by your amusing chicanery, but have you thought of the possibility that someone's life might be saved thanks to the internet? Although many doctors now use email alerts and internet pagers, they still can't rely on them for emergencies, mainly because of your antics. So, let me ask you, what is it about technology that makes you so insecure? You should be locked up just like the Unabomber.

Deagol
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You're kidding Deagol, right?

right?

4aapl

(liked your Recipe for Q2 2001 though)
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DeagolTheStoor:

Get real ! !

Anybody (or person) who believed in that post doesn't have enough "brainpower" to even "boot" never mind "log on" ! !

If they DID believe then they shouldn't be allowed near a computer - - they cost money you know ! !
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DeagolTheStoor:

Oh, I forgot - - computers use electrical power too.

VERY DANGEROUS TO THE USER IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING ! !
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Here's a handy bit of advice that might help you get through the next few days:

April 1st is April Fools Day.

Take anything you read here, i.e. Internet down for maintainance, Karmi going long on Apple, Y2Ken doing something, er, non-Y2Ken-ish with a grain of salt.

The internet is NOT going down for maintainance. Sure, they talked about doing it at one time, but now some clever programmers have come up with a version that can be done at home (and its cross platform! Noting for Y2Ken to complain about here!') try it out at this mirror and see if it doesn't improve performance. :

http://www.gbrockman.com/pipescrubber/

Note: OSX users should also be sure to try out the 'hard drive balancer'.

ColdCuts
-as serious as ever
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The following is from http://www.snopes2.com/inboxer/stooopid/cleaning.htm

I suggest you check this site in the future before forwarding hoaxes.

Origins: Ê This perennial April Fools' joke used to be told about the phone system and spread by photocopies and faxes; now it's the Internet being cleaned, and the message is disseminated by e-mail. Granted, "cleaning" out the Internet makes a little more sense to the non-technical user than cleaning out a phone system, but really . . .

Prior to its "Internet cleaning" version, the jape featured convincing the gullible that phone lines had become dirty, necessitating that the phone company force air through them to clear the debris. Users were cautioned to place plastic bags over handsets, lest the dust being blown through the lines settle on everything in the house.

A 1974 version featured "frozen" phone lines:


A radio announcer told his audience that, since the community had experienced several nights of unusual below-zero temperature, the telephone company, at a specified time, would put "heat-a-lators" on all the telephone lines to thaw them out. The disk jockey told his listeners to put their phone receivers in an empty bucket so that, as the lines thawed out, water wouldn't run out and ruin their rugs.

So many people took their phones off the hook that the central office was in a "no tone" condition for four minutes.
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Murry

The following is from http://www.snopes2.com/inboxer/stooopid/cleaning.htm

I suggest you check this site in the future before forwarding hoaxes.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Murry,

If I'd sent the "Amazon and Anti-Semitism" or "Rat Droppings" or "Hewlett-Packard/Gateway Merge - Free Computers" scams, I could understand your reaction. I believe that the folks here on the AAPL Board are sophisticated enough to recognize that it was humor. Check the date. Check the guy's name.

It's April Fools Day tomorrow! Lighten up!

2ndMillion

For those of you who haven't seen all the scams and tall tales out there, here are a few sites to go along with the one MurrayS has posted.

http://www.nonprofit.net/hoax/default.htm

http://HoaxBusters.ciac.org/

http://www.datafellows.fi/news/hoax.htm

http://www.hoaxsquad.com/

http://urbanlegends.about.com/science/urbanlegends/gi/pages/blaff.htm
(Internet Cleaning Day
It's that time of year again, folks. Be sure to disconnect your computer or all your data will be washed away when they flush the circuits.)

http://netsquirrel.com/combatkit/

http://www.scambusters.org/legends.html
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err... perhaps there was a misunderstanding... after rereading my post, I see that my use of the 1st person may have offended someone... if so, I apologize.

Let me make clear from the outset that none of my harsh words are directed to 2ndMillion. I know that his intention was to cheer up yesterday's troll infested board (for some strange reason, they were getting too much attention). As you can see, I addressed my message to Mr. Yuben T. Ricked, as a symbolic representative of the hoaxer community (thus, the "open message" bit). He (they) was the one I wanted locked up.

You're kidding Deagol, right?

4aapl, I'm serious... dead serious. Of course, I too came up with some pretty darned hyperboles myself, so that no ambiguity remained about the foolish nature of the prank. This may seem obvious to you and most Americans. However, in the language used in the joke I recognize many of the elements that make it prone to start a chain reaction, especially among those cultures that don't understand what everyone in the US devotes to on or around April 1st. You would be amazed at how exploitable some people are, or the lack of knowledge they have about how the Internet works.

Take anything you read here, i.e. Internet down for maintainance, Karmi going long on Apple, Y2Ken doing something, er, non-Y2Ken-ish with a grain of salt.

ColdCut, no grain of salt will stop it from becoming an annoying chain email if some prankster sends it to everyone in his address book, even if they realize it's a joke, but pass it along as well. Are you going to tell me that you never received the Microsoft-AOL free money hoax, or any other? I'm sure most of those were simple April-Fool-type pranks too, but, all of them? Come on, don't be so conceited. I got it at least 7 times, last time as recently as last year! I was dumbfounded to see that there were some email users that actually swallowed that one... again and again! Some of them promptly heeded the "please forward to everyone you know" demands on any message (just like yesterday's one) as soon as they got one, without even caring to clean up the infinite list of addresses quoted in the message, thus contributing to the spammers' 60 million record databases with my address, rendering it unusable. I guess 2 to 5 years ago the US was in its Internet puberty, and now that we know better, we feel we can joke about it. Instead we should be role models for the Internet undeflowered, who are wary of the myriads of criticism that the Internet now attracts (many times deservedly, but how will they discern the jester from the hacker if they don't feel secure enough to take the plunge?). The joke would be harmless if, instead of the whole thing, it had been posted as a link, as many posters here use to do. If you visit http://www.funone.com/funone/important/ you'll see that they make every effort to give away the punch line. One detail missing from 2ndMillion's version is that Mr. Ricked works in the Department of Prankology, and at the end, the very explicit: ***** Important Note Below - Please Scroll Down & Read! ***** However, they still contribute to the junk mail problem by letting you "email this page to your friends" (as opposed to sending just the link) and also by having a mailing list. But I digress.

Anybody (or person) who believed in that post doesn't have enough "brainpower" to even "boot" never mind "log on" ! !
If they DID believe then they shouldn't be allowed near a computer - - they cost money you know ! !


silco, so what if they don't have the brainpower to log on? Isn't Apple pitching precisely to that type of consumer? Yes, computers cost money, but its their money, and they're giving it to us AAPL shareholders. My objective with that message was to open your eyes as to the true reality of the regular computer user, including many of our beloved iMac buyers. But if they are put off by FUD (even through innocent jokes) and mocked in the way you disdainfully do so, then they won't upgrade, and the slowdown in computer sales growth will continue.

Understand that it is not out of altruism that I'd like to see the homely comfortable with tech. It is out of my own personal interest. You see, besides AAPL, I also own CSCO, ORCL, INTC, and AOL. If someone is led to believe that they should not log on tomorrow, no matter how stupid they may be for believing it, I'm losing money. Of course, sometimes its just plain sad.

Why do you think the TV and the radio are present in every household, and the computer doesn't even reach half of them? And that's only in America. Even the 3rd world is saturated with TVs, but the computer's penetration is less than 5% in some places. Think about it. It's not a dumbed-down interface that I'm asking for. Think of iMovie. All of this reminds me of TMFSideshow's recent putting down off PinzaTodd at http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=14554078.

I remember agreeing with some of 2ndMillion comments in the recent Scientist-vs-the-PC thread at http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=14546955, but after reading your posts here, I can see where the IT snoots have gone wrong. They can't miss the chance to look down upon the mainstream user. More power to Apple, they're doing the opposite. irbyj, you were so right further on in that same thread at http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=14552035.

I believe it was in Crossing the Chasm that Moore said something like "People who buy a hammer don't want to own, store, and learn how to use a hammer, they just wan't to nail something."

Whew!


Happy Fool Day
Deagol

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My apologies, 2ndMillion. I fell victim to getting on the internet too early on Saturday morning and have received numerous emails from friends and relatives promoting similar hoaxes (it must be true, Bill Gates himself said so). I've made it a habit of replying with quotes from snopes.com to help reduce worthless email.

Anyway, thanks for the other sites.

-Murray
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DeagolTheStoor , on of the Fool's mottos is Enrich, Amuse, Enlighten. It looks like you confused which of those traits the original post was meant to be doing.

As far as chain mail, you might want to check on your definitions. At what point does a joke become chain mail. I've constantly get jokes forwarded. I also once in a while get chain mail sent to me.

Once in a blue moon there are borderline ones (I have a nice one about the chian mail killer around here somewhere....but the wording is a little harsh for TMF if I remember right).....and this one could be taken the wrong way if Mary over in HR sends it out company wide with a priority High precluded with "Make sure our server is offline!!!".

But given the date, you really need to just site back, relax, and buy some more AAPL stock.

A year from now you'll be happy you did <grin>

4aapl

(and how exactly are CSCO, ORCL, INTC, and AOL going to be hurt by a few people not turning on their computer for one day? "Oh my gosh, our web hits are down 1%. We'd better cancel that order from Cisco. Take down the databases too. Stat! We'd better switch all our systems to AMD since Intel must be the root of this evil.

And that 1% decides that since they didn't connect to the internet on the 1st of the month, what's the point in paying $20 for unlimited service for the following 30 days????.

You're right. Better drop those stocks and buy more AAPL instead. But do it quick. I here the internet will be down in a few hours!)

(Ack, Japan is already offline!!!!!!!!! Dsheely, is Australia still connected? Dsheely????)
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(Ack, Japan is already offline!!!!!!!!! Dsheely, is Australia still connected? Dsheely????)

Hey, I'm still here on Tom Foolery day. It's already the first over here. Amazingly, no internet blackout.

The irony of all this, is that only the other day, Australia was disconnected from US internet sites. There have been an increasing number of problems on the backbone.

It is very frustrating, and makes me long for the days when peer-to-peer services like Hotline dominate the internet, rather than centralized web servers.

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Oh well, I guess I should've known it would be hard to get my point through.

At what point does a joke become chain mail.

At the point where it says "please pass this announcement to all other Internet users," and believe me, people will (ask MurrayS).

But given the date...

I thought you had read my post: "especially among those cultures that don't understand what everyone in the US devotes to on or around April 1st".

(and how exactly are CSCO, ORCL, INTC, and AOL going to be hurt by a few people not turning on their computer for one day? "Oh my gosh, our web hits are down 1%. We'd better cancel that order from Cisco. Take down the databases too. Stat! We'd better switch all our systems to AMD since Intel must be the root of this evil.

I thought it was clear I was talking about the bigger picture, of which this is but the smallest example. If you were to meet someone at random in a small town anywhere in South America or the Caribbean, there's a 99% chance that they don't have a computer, much less Internet access. Why? Because of stuff like "Many dead links on the World Wide Web ... as well as ftp links that are no longer used. Lost e-mail ... the bottlenecks that have plagued the Internet ... the down time for maintenance will be an inconvenience ... a much more efficient and faster responding internet ..." all of it quoted from said "joke," but very real issues indeed. On top of that you have the software, hardware, compatibility, connectivity, security and privacy issues, among many other turn-offs.

The local public school secretary doesn't have the knowledge to sort out through all the mess that is out there, and she couldn't care less. But all of them, even the most uneducated ones, have TVs and Cars, and are willing to pay big time for those products. So the problem is with the IT industry, not the people.

That "joke" is funny because it reminds us of all the real issues that still haven't been resolved, but also convinces the newcomer that we're not yet ready to address his needs. Gee, wasn't 2ndMillion's original irony to address it as help for TMF techies? So it's not about a 1% drawback on one day, but a 99% potential lost every day.

And that 1% decides that since they didn't connect to the internet on the 1st of the month, what's the point in paying $20 for unlimited service for the following 30 days????.

It's the other way around. That 1% won't cancel their AOL or Earthlink subscription, but will the 90% still on dial-up pay twice as much for the "convenience" of DSL? As I said before, it's not about lower sales, but slower growth of sales. No one is going to recoil their spending on tech because of it, but some may decide not to spend more.

you really need to just site back, relax, and buy some more AAPL stock.
A year from now you'll be happy you did <grin>


Believe me, I'm enjoying it very much. I'm not distressed in any way, mainly because of Apple. It's all changing for the better. Heck, even Microsoft is doing some cool things, I like that interactive TV thingumajig. I just thought that joke was so passe that I couldn't resist.

Then again, I might be loosing it... role models for the Internet undeflowered !! Talk about some highfalutin metaphors !!

* clunk, thud, clonk, thump *
* jingle, tinkle, chink, chinkle, clink, tingle *
* rattle, bicker, clitter, clack, clatter, shatter *
* babble, burble, cackle, clack, chatter, chin-chin, jaw *
* dither, gab, gabble, patter, prate, prattle, twaddle *
* smatter, yak, twiddle, twitter, yakety-yak, yammer, yatter *

[shoving that droopy modem through the crowded pipes to beat 11:59]

Deagol
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Deagol,

Back some Dualistic years ago, here in America, some Dude had a Radio program. The Dude decided to play a "joke" on the *HIGHLY* Intelligent American Public, and spoke of an Invasion from Mars (seems like it was Mars). Anyone remember what happened???

Anyway, the Mac Faithful rarely admit when they are wrong, and never apologize...so to speak (BTW, have i missed Julie's apology???).

Think Save Your Breath,

Karmi
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