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No. of Recommendations: 0
T's mom and aunt have invited me to the family lake getaway this month, to celebrate Mother-In-Sin's birthday.

It falls on a weekend I have:
1) the kids
2) a wedding to attend

T is willing to watch the kids all weekend. But I'd have to skip a wedding I've been aware of for months.

This is the first time I've been invited to the lake; it's reserved for "blood relatives".

Just what do I do with all this?

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 2
Just what do I do with all this?


1) have DN watch the kids. They're his too.
2) start sowqing seeds of doubt in the couple getting married so that they call it off before the wedding.
3) You and T go to the lake party and have fun.


RJ - helpful
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No. of Recommendations: 8
I had a learning experience last weekend.

Your friend, it is hoped, will get married once. You're going to marry T soon and will have many opportunities to go to the lake with his family. At least as important is the fact that the wedding is a prior engagement. You already have an invitation and a commitment, right?

Or have you not RSVP'd/otherwise committed to attend?
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No. of Recommendations: 0
1) have DN watch the kids. They're his too.

He will be "working", or whatever it is he is doing when he claims to be working.

3) You and T go to the lake party and have fun

Girls only on these trips.

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Girls only on these trips.



Wow. That's weird. Sounds like some lesbian which coven in the woods kinda thing.

Take pics.
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No. of Recommendations: 0
OCD: witch

duh
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No. of Recommendations: 0
Or have you not RSVP'd/otherwise committed to attend?

Yes, we have RSVPed with 4 attending (us and the kids).

So I guess that is settled then.

Anyone wanna take a gander at how I can respond with a "I'd rather go but I've already RSVPed for a wedding and so can I take a rain check for next year?"

Via email, since that is how the invite came.

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 7
Wow. That's weird. Sounds like some lesbian which coven in the woods kinda thing.

That reminds me: Awkward moment #1342 of my life.

Sister-In-Sins bachelorette party was a few weekends ago.

The whole thing gets kicked off with a Passions Party. I've been to them before, they are fun.

Except, this time, I get to hear how T's aunts, mom, sister and assorted friends don't like giving blow jobs (there is a toy that simulates a BJ for a guy, so the woman just basically gives a hand job. Win-win).

Also, I had to hand the mother of my fiance a giant, whirling, twinkling vibrator. Because toys are passed around to look at during these parties.

I suddenly remembered I would drink keg beer, after that.

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 19
"I'd rather go but I've already RSVPed for a wedding and so can I take a rain check for next year?"

What's wrong with pretty much saying exactly that?

"I'm thrilled to be invited, but T&I are attending a wedding that weekend. I wish I could come, but we can't disappoint our friends. Hope to join you another weekend."
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No. of Recommendations: 0
there is a toy that simulates a BJ for a guy


"And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven as everyone became familiar with 'The Pocket Putheh.'"

Mankind is doomed.
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No. of Recommendations: 3
T's aunts, mom, sister and assorted friends don't like giving blow jobs


Oh and those biches need training.
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No. of Recommendations: 4
Oh and those biches need training.

Considering the consensus from the room, I gather most women would rather watch paint dry than give BJs.

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 6
Hmm, I'd call on the phone--more personal, and makes it harder for people to misinterpret tone and such.

"Hi, MIn-Sin, I'm so, so sorry. I have a wedding to go to that weekend, I've known about it for months, I RSVP'ed for four people, and this person is a dear sister-like-figure/coworker/friend/whatever-she-is-to-you, I would feel just awful about cancelling for *four* people for her wedding. I'd really much rather go to the lake with you and (other-female-in-sins), but I just didn't find out about it in time. I'd love to go next time y'all go up there, just please try to let me know with more notice. Thanks so much for inviting me, and I hope y'all have a fantabulous time out there!"

I can't quite get the tone in there, but when you say wedding, you want to say it like "You know, weddings, they're expensive, and a big social obligation, and it's not like it's someone's 4th of July BBQ that I was just going to bring the soda for, it's a *big deal*" but simultaneously kind of sheepish. Like, if you could just think of a way of getting out of it without looking like a psycho hose beast, you would, but you know? There's just no way.

Anyway, that's the tack I would take.


--Booa
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No. of Recommendations: 3
I'd go with the whole "Oh I am disappointed but I already RSVP'ed to a wedding." But I get it - it is exciting to be included in the inner circle. One side of my family is like that.

But don't worry - they will love you. And invite you again. :-)

-M
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Except, this time, I get to hear how T's aunts, mom, sister and assorted friends don't like giving blow jobs (there is a toy that simulates a BJ for a guy, so the woman just basically gives a hand job. Win-win).

If they are going to get the "pleasure" of a pocket putheh, what exactly do these broads think these guys are putting up with the hassle of a woman for? They can buy and operate that themselves . . .
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No. of Recommendations: 0
Would it be possible to go to the lake for one day and attend the wedding the other?

Leana
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No. of Recommendations: 1
If they are going to get the "pleasure" of a pocket putheh, what exactly do these broads think these guys are putting up with the hassle of a woman for? They can buy and operate that themselves . . .



Dishes and laundry.

Just sayin.
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Dishes and laundry.

Just sayin.


From what I can gather*, T was a bit of a man-whore before meeting me.

Since that eliminates "access to puteth" as the reason for keeping a woman around - as it seems he had access to it at the same rate before settling down - there must be another reason for being in a relationship besides just puteth.

Since he gained 60 (not.joking.) pounds in the year after I moved in with him, I assume Reason Number One in his case would be "access to well-cooked food".

Laundry services and clean dishes Second and Third, respectively.

I also think it's quite handy for him to have someone else worry about birthday/anniversary/etc. cards. This seems to net him Family Brownie Points without any effort.

Finally, I take care of the dogs and the house when he's hunting, so there's that.

impolite

* the stories his friends tell place him near Legend status in his hometown
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No. of Recommendations: 9
If they are going to get the "pleasure" of a pocket putheh, what exactly do these broads think these guys are putting up with the hassle of a woman for? They can buy and operate that themselves . . .

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dishes and laundry.

Just sayin.


Yeah, I mean, guys are really unhappy unless they have someone to take care of, by doing dishes and laundry. ;-)


--Booa (I must be a flamin' weirdo, since I like giving BJs and my DH does our dishes and laundry...hmm, maybe that's the secret!)
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Considering the consensus from the room, I gather most women would rather watch paint dry than give BJs.




Is this true? When you say "watch paint dry" I think boring, dull, almost a complete waste of time. Nothing in it for the woman at all.

I don't know anyone who likes everything every time, of course.
But comparing it to watching paint dry is a fairly strong statement, I think.
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No. of Recommendations: 0
Can I call you "darling"?



Old joke.

Why does the groom smile on his wedding day?
Because he's marrying the woman who gives the best bj he's ever had.

Why does the bride smile on her wedding day?
Because she's just given her last bj.
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No. of Recommendations: 1
--Booa (I must be a flamin' weirdo, since I like giving BJs and my DH does our dishes and laundry...hmm, maybe that's the secret!)

Golly, my hubbie is in the kitchen doing dishes as we speak....

Always ;-)
Hunzi
knows the Hispanic chick secret
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No. of Recommendations: 2
Hunzi
knows the Hispanic chick secret



blue corn taco?
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No. of Recommendations: 3
Since that eliminates "access to puteth" as the reason for keeping a woman around - as it seems he had access to it at the same rate before settling down - there must be another reason for being in a relationship besides just puteth.

Since he gained 60 (not.joking.) pounds in the year after I moved in with him, I assume Reason Number One in his case would be "access to well-cooked food".


"Putheh that doesn't care how fat you are" is Reason Number One. :P

eag<---fat-->skinny-->married-->fat again.
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No. of Recommendations: 2
DrBooa,

You wrote, --Booa (I must be a flamin' weirdo, since I like giving BJs and my DH does our dishes and laundry...hmm, maybe that's the secret!)

Hum...! I knew I liked you for some reason! ;-)

BTW, I do the dishes... Ask aj485. aj485 used to complain about how I sorted laundry, so it became her chore. I also scrub toilets and clean the shower ... though I've been negligent on the shower lately. I hate a dirty bathroom, but I can tolerate a messy house. Strange?

Of course when I was married, I used to wash the clothes too. That was mainly a cost saving measure - I couldn't afford all the shirts my ex-wife ruined just because she wouldn't check everyone's pockets.

- Joel
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No. of Recommendations: 16
I couldn't afford all the shirts my ex-wife ruined just because she wouldn't check everyone's pockets.


Odd, one would think one would learn to check one's pockets before putting one's shirts in the laundry.

But that's just moi.

MOI
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No. of Recommendations: 2
Myownigloo,

I wrote, I couldn't afford all the shirts my ex-wife ruined just because she wouldn't check everyone's pockets.

To which you replied,
Odd, one would think one would learn to check one's pockets before putting one's shirts in the laundry.

But that's just moi.


Certainly not my ex. And those crayons certainly weren't in MY pockets! (She blamed the kids, but I suspect she was the culprit.)

BTW, for the longest when I was doing laundry, I'd do MINE separately. That way none my work clothes would get ruined.

- Joel
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No. of Recommendations: 10
Odd, one would think one would learn to check one's pockets before putting one's shirts in the laundry.



One would also think one would learn to check the toilet seat before sitting down.

But we know that doesn't happen.
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No. of Recommendations: 15
if the toilet cover is put down *every time* then everyone is at the same starting point every time.

peace & solutions
t
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No. of Recommendations: 0
That reminds me - our toilet seat is broken (off the hinges) in the master bath.

I am the only one this bothers, since I am the one that wants it 1) down and 2) not wobbling.

I bought a new one. I will be home alone tonight, and want to take a stab at replacing it.

What should I know before I begin?

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 1
What should I know before I begin?

The area where the old screws/bolts were might be a little grody, but otherwise, not much. It's pretty much a matter of pop the old off, clean up, pop the new one on, screw on from underneath, but that's not too hard.
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No. of Recommendations: 1
if the toilet cover is put down *every time* then everyone is at the same starting point every time.


And if the pockets are checked *every time* someone puts clothes into the washer, then there are never ruined clothes.
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No. of Recommendations: 0
What should I know before I begin?

You should know that if you can't complete this type of repair, you will be condemned to a life of hiring every minor job to overpaid pros and your bank account will be always be low on funds to pay for these pros.

It's a simple straightforward repair.

PSU
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No. of Recommendations: 0
That reminds me - our toilet seat is broken (off the hinges) in the master bath.

I am the only one this bothers, since I am the one that wants it 1) down and 2) not wobbling.

I bought a new one. I will be home alone tonight, and want to take a stab at replacing it.

What should I know before I begin?


A trained monkey could do it.

Gail
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Thanks, all.

I will either complete the task (because it's minor and simple) or I'll fail miserably and you'll get to hear a funny story.

Either way, a win, yes?

impolite
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No. of Recommendations: 0
The only problem I've ever encountered changing out a toilet seat is that the old bolts (as well as being amazingly grody) can some times be stubborn.

Make sure if you have to force the old bolts that your wrench doesn't slip and smack in to the toilet bowl or tank, cracking it. (No, I never quite did that, I did chip the finish though.)

Leana
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No. of Recommendations: 0
I bought a new one.

Be sure you have the right size and shape before you start.

rad
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No. of Recommendations: 0
The bolts will be semi-nasty.
There are plastic covers over the bolts which will have to be popped off. A fingernail or a putty knife will do the trick.

It is a five-to-fifteen minute task, start to finish.

Since you've already purchased the new seat, I'll skip my usual advice about replacing anything and say "take the old seat off and take it with you to the hardware store to ensure a match"

Toilet seats come in more shapes and sizes than you might imagine.
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No. of Recommendations: 1
if the toilet cover is put down *every time* then everyone is at the same starting point every time.


That was my passive-aggressive solution, too.
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No. of Recommendations: 0
Odd, one would think one would learn to check one's pockets before putting one's shirts in the laundry.

----------------------------------------------------------------

One would also think one would learn to check the toilet seat before sitting down.

But we know that doesn't happen.


SP?


--Booa
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No. of Recommendations: 0
What should I know before I begin?


left loose
right tight
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No. of Recommendations: 8


if the toilet cover is put down *every time* then everyone is at the same starting point every time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

That was my passive-aggressive solution, too.



it became a solution to the *what happens when a cell phone falls out of one's pocket when one bends over to pick up a dropped object in the bathroom* problem

it was just coincidental to the lid situation


peace & splash
t
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No. of Recommendations: 1
if the toilet cover is put down *every time* then everyone is at the same starting point every time.

This also solves the problem of the dog drinking from the toilet or the cat falling in and creating a mess while getting out.

Sometimes the other gender of human isn't the most pressing concern for toilet seat status.

Patzer
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No. of Recommendations: 0
Yep, "seat and lid down, or cats and kids drown" was what a friend of mine used to say.

Still do it my house, even though we no longer have the cat that liked to play in the toilet.

Ishtar
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