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No. of Recommendations: 8
IP writes: It is your money and you can do as you wish but you seem to be very conflicted.

IMO the conflict is about family relationships, current and future, rather than disposition of money.


IMO, (might be wrong, might be inaccurate, might be the ramblings of a madman*)... it seems angst based on making VALUE JUDGEMENT about others.

I'm facing a similar set of choices: no kids of my own, so nephews (nieces only by marriage) who rarely interact with me.
Some are "fine, up-standing"... others I find "wanting".

99% of my assets are in brokerage accounts, in which I used the ToD (transfer on death) options, listing the nephews all as equal beneficiaries.

I struggled for a while with the "disapproval/judgemental" thoughts... but after a while I asked myself several questions:
"How would I want to be treated?", (the Golden rule)
"How would I want to NOT be treated?" (Silver rule)
And... "what are MY ethics? (not my morals, and especially not "legal"... what are my ethics?).
"Who am I to judge...?"

Therefore, I settled on an equal split between them all and let each one run his own life.
I've enough trouble running my life.

I really appreciate all the comments in this thread. It makes me re-evaluate my thoughts and choices.

My choice also plays into my attempts to follow Buddhism's 4-Noble Truths, and the 8-Fold Path, and helps me to avoid the angst associated with "judging" my nephews and trying to allocate my resources as influenced by my "attachment" to those resources.

🤔
ralph


*Tom Nash
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