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Just a little snippet from the other side, personal, maybe applies to no one else, but FWIW here goes:

Dad's 94. He retired at 78 from his primary profession, but still owned rental property until recently. He's been using the same accounting firm for probably his whole adult life, with the same point of contact for probably the past 20+ years.

He's always been a procrastinator, and chronically disorganized regarding paperwork. His executive assistant and CPA kept him on track while he worked, and Mom took care of household finances. (More or less. CPA always filed for an extension, knowing Dad wouldn't get his info to them until probably mid-summer.) When Mom died (Dad was mid-80's), one of my sisters took over household finances while I took over housekeeping and medical. Or so I thought. Turns out, Dad didn't file taxes for several years. When it became obvious Sis was MIA overall and not just taking a short-term break, I took over finances. LOTS of catching up to do. It was a huge task, on top of the usual eldercare chores. Anyway, for the past several years, each February I sent the CPA a spreadsheet showing cash flow, along with all 1099's and other required documents. They filed the taxes, and everything went smoothly and on time.

In 2019, Dad got sick, went from hospital to rehab to assisted living. I sold his house and cars. It was my "lost year," wherein I spent almost every day either with Dad or at his house (to prep it for sale, with No Help Whatsoever from siblings, and some criticism from one particular absentee sibling). In Feb 2020, I sent his CPA a 2-page cover letter, the usual cash flow spreadsheet, and required documents.

She called a week later to report she'd completed his returns and would mail them to me, and said, "Please give your dad my love, if he remembers me. He was always my favorite client."
me: "I will, and he might. He was happy to get your Christmas card."
and I couldn't resist continuing: "He must have many fine qualities, to have been a favorite of yours, given that his disregard of deadlines must've made your job harder."

CPA: "I used to wonder how he could not care about deadlines, but I finally realized, you just gotta admire that. Deadlines are important, but not that important, in the grand scheme of things."

I thought no, I absolutely do not admire that, it made my life harder and was always IMO irresponsible on his part.
I just said, "Well, that's one way of looking at it. For the record, the reason he got away with not caring about deadlines is that he always had other people to do it for him."

Anyway, we said our good-byes, the taxes got filed, the refunds have already been direct deposited, and so all's well overall. But I was feeling very dissatisfied with the conversation, and finally realized that I'd wanted her to say something along the lines of, "Nice spreadsheet, and thanks for getting everything to me so early."

Caregiving is exhausting. A little crumb of appreciation now and then goes a long way.

End of rant.
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