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No. of Recommendations: 1
Just some thought from a random internet stranger.... take them for what they are worth!

Why are you concerned about not letting IB know that you are cutting him off? A frank conversation with him may be difficult, but at some point this mooching off mom and dad is going to stop.

I think that if I were in your shoes, I would contact the credit card company and ask them what options are available. You can probably stop new charges to the account, and I'm assuming if it's maxed out, then there are no new charges? Who is paying the account right now? Is IB paying if he is the one receiving the statements?

Most important is no new debt in your dad's name, and not allowing IB to commit identity theft if that's the direction he's heading in.

Do you have access to the statements or is IB keeping this a secret? You may need to let the CC company know you are POA and send in documents, etc. to show that.

I am not sure that an 89 year old needs a credit rating to borrow additional money. If they are downsizing, is there enough equity in the property to pay for a smaller place? Would renting be more convenient at this life stage? How are mom and dad feeling about selling their home? What is their income, expenses and net worth at this point and how will they handle their money going forward?

This is complicated stuff and I am sorry you are going through it. There are many people who have done this and I hope you get the advice you need. I like Dave Ramsey for some of these kinds of things, and he recommends a book called Boundaries for rough family members. If you have true financial control, then honestly, work with your mom and dad to set some boundaries so they are protected from being taken advantage of.

The money already loaned and gone may be gone. If that is the case, then make your best plan to protect them from financial harm going forward.

Good luck with it all!
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