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Karen and Tony,

Thanks for the quick reply. I posted this on the W&I board as well and have gotten some great feedback there as well.

The way we split the financial handling is that I pay the fixed bills, and she pays the food, day care, and her expenses. We wind up sending 200 each month to an emergency fund which we started a couple of months ago. It's up to 850. This is a great positive step for us. But we will be dipping into it for our child's day care starting in September. (We have to pay an enrollment fee and place a refundable deposit.) That's okay because that's why we have an emergency fund.

She works and earns about 13K. That's her money to pay $200 for two days of daycare. (In September we're increasing the daycare by an extra 2 half days because I'm going back to school for 2 nights and she is going for 1 night. I'm getting a raise and will pay for the extra daycare.) She also uses her money for her expenses and other child expenses. Then she uses $600 from my paycheck for food and other household expenses.

We've talked about tracking expenses, but she is completely against that. I think this is part of the problem for me because I sense that there is a lot of cash flow that just seems to disappear over the course of the month.

<<2. Respond with: " honey, you've been so busy with work and the kids, I noticed the paper tiger on your desk keeps growing. Do you want some help with it? Maybe I could help you catch up, or at least cook dinner and watch the kids so you can have some quiet office time." This is what I would want to hear. >>

Great idea Karen, I think I'll give that a try someday.


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