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LadyI, your "Regrets" post really got to me, partly cuz I knew you'd DONE STUFF all summer. Then I noticed that it had been your 1000th post. Your Red Star post. Now, I'm not big on stuff like that, as a rule, but I've been here long enought to know that it means something here in the Rome which is TMF, and "when in Rome..." 'n' all that. And granted I've got no room to talk, having blown my own Red Star post making some lame joke on a silly goof-off board.

But still. It bugged me.

Not good at this support-group stuff. Have to work to remind myself to send "(((hug)))" and "Congrats!" and "sorry you're not feeling well" to folks. Others here, they're good at that -- plus, Kerri has all those cool ASCII graphics to stir in -- so, normally, I sit back and let them do what they're good at.

What am I good at? Research. Recognizing patterns. Making connections. So. This is my 1000th-post gift to you, LadyIanna. A compilation of what you've accomplished, what's been GOOD in your life, over the summer.

Started on May 16 cuz that's about when I started reading this board regularly. Went through every post you've made from then until now. Pulled out the GOOD stuff and made a little clip file for you. Caveat: there are a couple of "bad" things in this compilation cuz I thought they were significant enough to point out, in a mood journal kinda way, where they fit on the timeline. But 99% of it is GOOD stuff from your summer of '03. The stuff you seem to have forgotten about since your August went to Hades in a handbasket.

May 16
I managed to do a little more on my room yesterday. Took all the double hung windows out so they can be cleaned. (just windows not the frames.) Scrubbed the window frames to get ready for painting.
I put the shopvac together
I'm back to taking my pills on time.

May 17
Lady I, who got some painting done today.

May 20
I wanna make sure things are done right. [...] Why not do it all while they're apart??
I wanna wait till I get the last piece of wallboard up and the mudding and sanding done, so I don't have to clean up the dust twice.
I have not only been remodeling, but I have to do all the dishes and the cooking.
Sometimes you just have to do all the work just to keep your sanity. If it's too much, then just let some things go.
Just set those things that are needs, and worry about the wants later.
Anyway.... If I accomplish one thing a day, I'm happy. If I accomplish more than one thing, then that's great. A month or more ago, I couldn't get my a** out of bed to make myself something to eat. So, I guess this is progress.
Lady I, taking one day at a time.

May 28
I'm cooking for 4 now instead of 2

May 31
I'm still taking my meds.
I paid down all my debts so I could work on buying my dad's house.
I've spent almost the entire last week helping my sister move out of the trailer, and move her stuff back into her house to store, and move in here.
I've seriously been considering going back to college part-time.
On other fronts, I've managed to sock away a whole $550 in my e-fund account
I guess I just have to keep plugging away at finishing my room, and hopefully things will settle from there.

June 1
Of all the people that I have read posts on, on the LBYM and CC boards, and alot of the other boards that I have read, I find myself to be the most able to live on the least amount of money. (dunno if that made any sense the way that came out.) I can live on very little. If it werent for paying for health insurance, I could probably live on $500 a month. Hmm...then again, I'm pretty much doing that now, even paying the $170 or so for health insurance every month.
I realize my environment may be toxic, but it's much better than it used to be.

June 6 in the last few days I have....
Did the dishes 4 time or so....
Fed the dogs and the cats and the people....6 times or so...
Fielded and coordinated a rescue operation when my mothers car died on her.....3 different times...
Moved all my sisters and neices bed pallets and dirty laundry, and tv and dvd and vcr and other crap to the other side of the room, after finishing painting that half, moving all the tools, and large plastic drop cloth, and vacuuming. (Switched both sides of the room) Vaccumed the bathroom, picked up the wet towels, turned off the lights (a couple dozen times)
Called Direct Loans the other day to see if my payment amount had been changed
Okay... so I think...I'll do some painting, since they arent going to be in the room, or even home. I get one half of the wall done.
btw...I did send out two resumes early this week for two part time jobs.
so...I guess I'm doing pretty well.
Actually, my neice is making dinner, with a little help and coaxing.
I vacuumed the kitchen, cleaned the paint pan and brushes, and went out and brushed the dog, and pulled out another small dog.
Lady I, taking baby steps.

June 7
Managed to get through a large stack of newspapers that I wanted to sort through today.
Made orange chicken with brocolli and rice for dinner.
So, I'm making progress, just very slowly.
I am a nice person and I do like doing things for people.
I have also learned what I can do and can't do.
Things will be better when I am back in my bedroom, and can get back to making a concerted effort to finding a job. I just need to go with the flow for a while. Just think of me as the tortoise instead of the hare.

June 11
Anyway, I've mixed up 4 loaves of bread this morning
I've moved my neice into the room (closet) I was in, and my sister has moved herself to the fold out couch in the library, that I finally got cleared off.
Lady I, the inch worm, inching slowly along. 8^)

June 12
I got the bread made, and the dishes done, and bought some groceries, and made dinner
I'm making baby steps.

June 15
I've got my entire room painted

June 17
Things have gotten a bit better. Saturday, when I was posting, my dad evidently talked to my sister, because when I came down the dishes were done, the dining room was vacuumed and they were doing laundry. Later that afternoon they went grocery shopping, actually asked if I needed anything from the store. (?!?) [...] Yesterday, my neice said she wanted to make dinner. They had bought a new Vegetarian cookbook, and she wanted to make Lasagna with eggplant. Of course I had to help her a bit, but she did most of it. It came out really good.
I went to job service
Found a whole bunch of stuff that was really cheap and useful. [...] So now I can keep todo lists and shopping lists, and my expenses on it and have it readily available. [...] Anyway....I bought some useful stuff
Anyway, today, I've managed to get a head start on stuff, made myself a list of things that need to be done.
I think I've figured out a solution to my constantly being tired
I seem to be leveling out.
Anyway, it's these little discoveries that are making the difference. If I make one tiny step a day, I at least feel like I'm making progress.
Lady Inchworm, inching along. ;-)

June 22
I just ordered 3 books on line the other day. as a graduation present for one of my neices.
Anyway, they cost me less than $27 and I got free shipping. (woo hoo) AND, they are gonna deliver right to her house! :)

June 23
I have a job interview this afternoon.
[saving Lady from having a hanger stuck on her butt] Eventually I manage to get the mat of fur cut out.
Saturday I went to my neices graduation party.

June 25
Lady I, dancing inside her mind.

June 26
[helping Meg with her problems]
Hang in there. Things will get better. (I know people have told me this a billion times, and I didn't/woudn't believe them,'s really true.)
[multiple positive suggestions]
Anyway... hang in there, keep posting and realize it's just a phase you are going through, and things will get better in a while.

June 27
[helping joycets with her problem]
[multiple positive suggestions]
[helping Meg again]
Okay I refilled my meds yesterday.
I'm still working on my room
[helping Heather with med suggestions]
I spent a few hours tonight taking care of the tiny kitten my sister brought home and snuck into the house last week.

June 29
[hugs for Kez]

July 2
[responding to Heather's anxiety]
Just smile and say, "I never did mind the little things."
Lady I, making progress.

July 3
New update: Carpet is... well as clean as it's gonna get this time.
Went over it 3 times, once last night, once 9 am this morning then again at 3pm.
Also got a message on my machine from one of the part-time jobs I applied for

July 8
I just came from an interview for a 15 hr a week job.
I've got half my furniture back in my room.
Actually found out why the right channel on my reciever wasn't working.
Started putting clothes back into one of my dressers.
Anyway, I have a list. It's on a big white board that I bought at Walmart. I just write stuff on there when I think of it, and wipe it off when it gets done.
I did lie down, with the TV on. I was doing pretty well

July 10
It's 3 am. I just got back from the hospital where I've spent 5 or more hours in waiting rooms.

July 15
Sunday, we went to my mom's house and did all her dishes and cleaned out her fridge and picked up library video tapes that need to go back, etc etc.
Monday morning, I got up, made some calls. (Managed to get a therapy appt for Wed 3:00) packed two days worth of stuff. Went to the hospital and stayed all day, then drove to Auburn to stay overnight, because the funeral was at 9 am tues morning. In the meantime, I got a chance to see a freinds band at the park on Monday night (6:30-8:30) It was a really nice break.
We attended the funeral [...] I was holding up well
I got a call from one of the temp agencies today on my voice mail. They want me to call them regarding a job.

July 16
I'm hanging in there.

July 17
[being supportive of me]
Lady I, tired but supportive.
I went to the therapist yesterday
I did find out that my PIP (aka no-fault) benefits will cover $125,000. of her medical expenses. After that they will kick over to my mom's policy which has another $100,000. I for some reason had an additional benefit on my policy for $25k so that was an added benefit. (it only costs $6 for 6 months, so I guess it really is worth it.)

July 18
[primal scream therapy]
(I'm okay now, thanks.)'s moving along in record time I think.
Laughing is good for you, and humor is present in every situation.

July 22
I'm not going to the hospital tomorrow, so I can go to my mom's house and do some stuff.
I'm the responsible down to earth one.
Guess that's what I get for being the last child. They finally got it right. ;^)

July 23
Our family isn't exactly the worst dysfunctional family I know of
Lady I, walking the tightrope of family.

July 24
I think it is more of a case of it being excessively humid lately. If it's not 90% humidity, it's pouring down rain and thunderstorming.
I also have been eating alot of junk food
[I threw this one in cuz it seems connected to all the bad crap which happened around this time]

July 29
Okay, I'm at mom's.
Sunday morning, I called the hospital to talk to the dr, to find out if there was another antibiotic she could take.
So...I finally got her into bed about an hour ago, after being up and down about 3 times.
This morning, we went to the Sheriff's to get my mom's purse, and then down to get my stuff from the car. I took pictures of what was left of the car.
The new radio I recently put in the car
I've been sleeping on the floor in the same room as my mom, so that I can hear her if she needs to get up at night.
LI, hangin in and hangin on.
I have been trying to do a search online for information on the Clindamycin Hydrochloride that my mom was taking.
I was just worried because I couldn't get my mom to eat anything, and she didn't even want to take water.
I took her BP this morning and it was very good, and her temp was normal, so she definately doesn't seem to have an infection.

July 30
[helping Kez with dream/nightmare problems]
Usually, I try to analyze the overall feeling I got from the nightmare.
One thing to remember though is that just because you dream something, it does not mean it is something you want to, or should do.
Think of dreams as your fantasyland, where you can act out and do whatever you want, with no consenquences.
A few things that might help to lessen nightmares is to try and relax before going to sleep.
Don't be afraid of your nightmares.
[helping Meg]
I don't know about you, but I find putting on some upbeat music makes it easier to get more active.

August 3
[helping me feel better about being so dang old]

August 6
I've been staying at mom's off and on to take care of her
She had a claustrophobia attack. After trying to talk to her for a little bit, I went up and got my brother out of bed, to talk to her.
My brohter and I ended up "building" her a bed out of her love seat and a bunch of plastic tubs (the rectangular ones) and tossed the mattress on top. After that she said she slept better
I fix her pillow, give her water, cover her up, swat flies, and then ask her if she needs anything else

August 12
I was just down at my mechanic's
I was also lamenting the fact that I don't have a job. [...] He mentioned that the girl he had working for him, may be leaving.

Not synthesized like I wanted it to be, but sometimes clips stand on their own, eh? And note: as recently as Aug 12 (that we know about), you WERE SO looking for work. You've been tuned into "getting a job" all summer long, even when you're out dealing with car trouble.

Happy summer. Happy fall. Happy 2003. Happy 1000th post, LadyI.

I'm InLivingColor
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