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A long long time ago
I can still remember how that market used to make me frown
And I knew if I had the time that I could make a healthy dime
and maybe I'd be happy as a clown.
But October made me nervous - Dow Jones was mostly out of service.
Bad news on the doorstep I couldn't take one more step.

I remember that I lied, when they asked me what I'd put aside,
My stomach turned over deep inside the day the market died.

Buy buy low and sell high --
That's the message I've been preachin'
Since my stocks went sky high --
Now I'm eatin' caviar and flyin' off to Versailles,
Prayin' "Please don't let the stock market die...please don't let the stock market die..."

I could write "The Book of Dough" -- I've done so well since then, you know.
Just ask any of the maids.
Do you believe in big bank rolls and can Wall Street save your mortal soul?
I can show you all the trades.

Well, I know that you're a Fool, ya see...'cause I saw your name here, just like me.
We both know what to do...man, I dig those Gardner boys, too!

I was an underpaid middle-manager, with a staff of ten and a fake black fur.
But I know my luck will run out, sir, the day the market dies.

So, I'm singin' buy buy low and sell high --
That's the message I've been preachin'
Since my stocks went sky high --
Now I'm eatin' caviar and flyin' off to Versailles,
Prayin' "Please don't let the stock market die...please don't let the stock market die..."

Now for a few years I've been doin' fine
With a few investments bought online,
But that's not how it used to be.
When the jesters rode high into town
In a space they built up from the ground
Those Fools that came to you and me.

Oh, and while Wall Street was looking down, the jesters threw their words around.
The people came to learn, after all of them had been burned.
And while others tightened up their belts, the Fools were makin' lots of gelt,
And fake furs turned into minky pelts,
Until the stock market dies.

And we're singing Buy buy low and sell high --
That's the message I've been preachin'
Since my stocks went sky high --
Now I'm eatin' caviar and flyin' off to Versailles,
Prayin' "Please don't let the stock market die...please don't let the stock market die..."
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