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My concern is that if they file married/jointly, any money my daughter might have coming to her will get sent to his ex. Can they avoid this by filing married, filing seperately?

Yes, but that's not necessary and could result in their paying more in taxes than they need to. They can file jointly with an "injured spouse" (term of art) claim from her. Any refund is split between them according to allocation rules, and only his portion is made available for offset.

You can read more about it, including the necessary form, in the 1040 instructions and Publication 17.

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