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No. of Recommendations: 4
My heart is confused. Can you offer anything?

Can you take a little bit of brutal honesty?

I don't think you're confused. I think you know you want and need to end the relationship, but you feel guilty about it. You care about him, but that doesn't mean you're in love with him. Nothing in your post indicated it was a happy, healthy or productive relationship *for either of you*. Is it possible part of his depression is that on some level he too realizes the relationship is over?

You can end a relationship and not abandon the other person. There is an important distinction there. It does not have to be an all or nothing thing, and you do not have to completely stop talking to him (unless that's the best thing for YOU). You need to take care of yourself first, and frankly this relationship doesn't qualify as self care taking in my book.

On another note, there is a hotline you can call if you are concerned about him committing suicide. They will be able to help you. Please please please call this hotline if you think he's serious about suicide.

http://www.hopeline.com/

1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-784-2433

Remember at the same time though, that you're not responsible for his actions, behavior, or his mood! You hold your hand out, you can offer help, but you can't force it. Just do the best you can with what you have. Also, keep posting. We're here as support. You don't have to wait until you're ready to burst before you tell someone (your therapist, us, anyone) what's going on. You have to reach out in order for others to realize you need help... and it's most definitely okay to ask for help!

Hugs,
Smurfette
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