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My main concern is keeping whatever estate exists out of the hands of my ex long enough for it to pay my children's way through college. I really need some guidance on trusts and how I can make absolutely clear, in case he contests something, why I DON'T want him in control or even in proximity to a trust left to the children.

Go look for some of 2gifts posts on wills, trusts, and whatnot. IIRC, she wrote some letters to go with the will that clearly spelled out why certain decisions were made.
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