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My oldest daughter gave birth to our second grandson, Jeremy, six weeks later

I must've missed that event. A belated mozel tov to ya Ralph.


About two weeks after Sue died, I found out my youngest daughter, then just barely 17, was pregnant. Her baby was born November 2nd, and after an initial decision to give the baby up for adoption, she suddenly changed her mind and decided to keep her daughter.

Holy smokes Ralph! What a fall you've had. It was hard enough for me entering the first holiday season as a widower, but to have this turmoil amidst that. I. can't. imagine!


I don't get along well at all with my youngest daughter, and that bothers me a lot.

Wow! I venture that's something hard to admit. And...must have grief issues of its own. Again. I can't imagine.
(((Ralph)))
I hate to admit it, but I'd probably have a bleeding tongue from holding back a bajillion, "what would your mother think?!?!"'s from flying out of my mouth.
Yeah, I know that's not a productive think to be saying. But unfortunately, that would probably be a thought that would be passing through my mind. A LOT.


Not meaning to detract from this, but this brings to fore an anecdote.
After counting all the toes and fingers, I had this wave of terror sweep over me. "I'm the father of a girl!!!"
As we sat gushing - OK mostly me doing the gushing as my wife had been through about 18hrs of labor; well she was gushing as much as an exhausted post partum mother could. I looked at my wife and told her that it will be her job to teach and deal with all the things that come with puberty and beyond. I expected to be in blissfully ignorant belief that my daughter was a virgin until my 1st grandchild was coming out the chute. Even then, I reserved the right to remain in denial if I chose.

Enter widowhood, I realize that I needed a Plan B. So I came up with the strategy of figuring, as a result of becoming a parent late in life, that I will just become senile. Said senility will progress in severity concurrent with DD's entry into puberty.

Well, your woes have really shot down that strategy. There are aspects to this plan where I might not be able to stick my head in the sand.
Hmmm...sticking to this theme of my denials, I'm just gonna have to deny this realization as well. At least for now.
But can I place reservations to get your consultation in about 3-4 years.
<fingers crossed that I'm wrong about this being needed this soon>


I suspect this is relatively “soon” by most standards.
Good for you Ralph!
BTW, what standards? I say that there are no applicable rules or schedules to widowhood.

Just to give you some reference. I participated in an online young widows' group with just over 20 members. All but 3 of us were dating by the end of year 1; including 2 pairing of members - 1 resulting in a marriage, the other in cohabitation, within that 1st year. There were 4 more remarried by the end of the 2nd year.
I recently lurked in on the spinoff group, of the original young widows' members, created to keep the widows' board from becoming to clique-y for new folks to come in. 5 years later, all but 4 of us are now remarried. Several had been through multiple broken engagements.

This has turned out to be a longer post/reply than anticipated. So I'll have to defer my personal dating experience when I get another block of time to sit still. Short take is that it wasn't till after my 3rd year that I made my 1st foray into dating.

At any rate, your dating situation sounds like a good thing. She sounds cool!


Take care Ralph,
Keith
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