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Needless to say, I spent the night with Chez, a few days after Mark & My agreement. MARK WENT BALISTIC!!!! I said 'Goodbye' to Chez :o(

How can a person that behaves like this be your best friend? A best friend wants you to be happy, period. That's it. Do best friends get jealous, protective, and down right obnoxious when they shouldn't? You bet, mine does it on a regular basis. :) (Side note - I think this is particuarly true when your best friend is of the opposite sex, not to mention a former partner.) Regardless, this is precisely where you need to set a boundary and they need to back off! I probably sound like Ross from friends, but the relationship was over as far as you knew! You were well within your right to make your own decisions about where to sleep.

You say you're not 'in love' with Mark anymore, but does he know this? Sugar coating your feelings is a very bad idea. It is NOT your job to take care of his feelings. That's his job. It's your job to be direct and honest. You cannot mislead him, even a little bit. Generally people hear what they want to hear, not necessairly what's being said. You need to be specific with him. "Mark, I am not in love with you. I do care about your well being, but only as a friend." It's not something that's up for discussion.

I suggested we remain friends for now, no commitment (so I don't feel guilty about the sex), but he couldn't accept that one!

I'm sorry, I don't undertand this at all. Why would you feel guilty about sex? Are you referring to not having it, having it with him, or having it with someone else? Without that information I would say if you have to put 'sex' in the same sentence with 'guilt'that abstinence is probably the best course of action.

Do you have to be living together to light up the flame again: To HELP someone: To reignite the flame with the best friend a person could ever want.

I know you're not talking about living with Mark, right? You can't possibly be referring to the guy who pretends to be your best friend? The one that can't get past his own ego long enough to see what makes you happy? And the same guy you're not in love with and don't intend to marry? You're not talking about him, RIGHT?! Please tell me Chez came back out of the blue.

Smurfette
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