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Of course, even if I didn't have to give him the opportunity I would have. I can't seem to get off the high road even when I'm taking fire from the enemy and my supplies are cut off.

I know I'm stating the obvious here, but you are/were clearly way, way too good for him. Yeesh.

You're a really good person, imp. And you love your kids, and they love their dad, and you know they're awesome, so you try to do what's best for them (and for DN, too) at any cost to yourself. And that's why your kids are going to do great.

Something like "I didn't tell you earlier because I believe it is personal information. I don't ask who you are dating or what your plans are with them, because they are none of my business, either. It won't affect the children's daily lives any." is probably about all I can muster, honestly.

whimp, in face-to-face combat

You're not a wimp. You're just not. You're the opposite of a wimp. You're a hero, with ethics, and courage, and all kinds of good stuff like that. And you are too kind to hold up a mirror to DN and show him his own true self. Not wimpy.

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