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It's a beautiful sunny morning in New York City. Waffle is walking jauntily down the street in his fedora and turns in to his favorite neighborhood bagel shop.

Innocent wide-eyed Bagel Girl: Good morning sir! How may I help you?

Waffle: Whoa there beautiful! How about a smile? A smile from a beautiful woman always makes my day!

IWEBG: <blushing> Oh, that's so sweet, YOU think I'M a woman. That's so flattering!

Waffle: You look like a woman to me baby. Can I hit you up on MySpace?

IWEBG: Well, I'm really only supposed to give out my address to kids my parents have approved, but I guess it will be okay, I got all A's on my last report card so they only check about once a month.

Waffle: SWEEEET.

Waffle is busy typing away on his laptop. He's got a class of cabnernet and the lights are turned down. Candles burn to create the mood.

Waffle: <Typing furiously while speaking aloud> So what kinds of things do you like to do? Do you go out a lot? Do you like to makeout in or out of the parking lot of your Bagel Shop?

IWEBG: I love ponies, ice cream, and suspenders.

Waffle <to himself> Hot diggity! <typing furiously> I think we should meet ASAP. Where do you live? I'll come by...in my suspenders.

IWEBG: Okay. Hey can you please bring some wine coolers?

It's the next day Waffle pulls up to a big house and rings the door bell. A sweet voice from inside tells him to come on in....

Waffle: Hello? Darling? Where are you, my sweet?

IWEBG: I'll be right there, did you bring the wine coolers?

Waffle: Of course!

A tall handsome man turns the corner...

Chris Hansen: Hi there, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC'S to Catch a Predator, you mind having a seat for me?

Waffle: Uhhhhhhh.

Chris Hansen: Go on. Have a seat. Did you know that the girl you are meeting tonight is not old enough to drink and also unemotionally equipped to deal with a womanizing sleazebag like yourself due to her age?

Waffle: Well, uh.

Chris Hansen: "Do you like to makeout in or out of the parking lot of your bagel shop" "I'll come by in suspenders". Those are things you said?

Waffle: Well, yes. Yes, but I was just coming by to talk.

Chris Hansen: You always wear suspenders and a straw hat 'just to talk'?"

Waffle: Uh...BYE

Waffle runs out into a large group of waiting police officers and is tasered repeatedly.

IS THIS THE LAST OF OUR HERO?
 
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