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I have been taking care of my one year old grandson while DD works. Part of me really likes having him here at my house, as he is such a good baby, and we have a good time together. But part of me has been feeling very resentful at the added responsibility, being tied down, etc. . .

But last week this little dilemma resolved itself. It seems that I have developed a hernia from all the lifting. The doctor said that I am not to lift anything over 5 pounds, so now I have my freedom back, but it hurts to much to do anything. And I really miss the little guy.

I seem to be stuck in a mindset where everything is grey. Nothing is really good or bad, everything is just so blah! It's been raining a lot, it's hot and humid, and I'm not having any fun.

So hopefully everyone else is doing well.

Peg

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Nothing is really good or bad, everything is just so blah!

That is pretty much the way I feel most of the time. I'm glad my daughter managed to graduate from eighth grade, but, well, it just doesn't seem like that big a deal. And I have no expectation of having any fun with her this summer - even though we have plans for all sorts of activities.

I just started on some new meds, though. Perhaps they will help.

Ellen
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I got a call from my mom last night, and my grandmother (who's be in the hospice for 5 years) had another stroke.

So last night I went to visit her. My cousin flew in and my whole family was there. My mom thought she would "rally" from this and her hopes were very high....but this morning I got the dreaded phone call.

My mom was with her when she took her last breath. I have so many regrets, I never "had time" to go see her when she was there despite the fact she was only a few miles away. I was so wrapped up in my own life that I didn't care about others. I am really glad I went to go say good bye to her.

I drove to the hospice this morning and when I walked into the room, I lost it. She is finally at peace and for that I am happy. She went peacefully, but I'm not at peace with myself.

Everyone was so kind, the nurses, the residents, everyone. When I think how many horrible people there are in the world, I am happy knowing how many good people there are and how selfless the nurses are. They were all so genuine and all cared so much for my grandmother.

So today, I'm not doing to well. I'm full of regret, but it is too late and I need to realize that she's in a much better place now.

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(((((crzy))))))

I'm sending you all my good and peaceful thoughts. Take care of yourself this weekend.

-slowlrnr
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