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Dear matadorph,

You have to realize what you're stepping into here at 77's place. Your presence here like throwing fresh meat to Michael Vick's hungry dogs.

You're new to the board. You love the Texans. We haven't had one of those around here. Most of us didn't even know such a thing existed. In fact, a lot of other posters are wondering WHY such a thing as a Texans fan exists at all.

No matter. The reality is that the regulars here have been regulars here for a long time and have hashed over just about every topic imaginable. We're tired of Ray Lewis knife jokes. We're tired of Patriots fans taking offense when someone compliments Belicheck AND Brady AND Pioli all in the same post, because they're upset that you're not giving proper credit to the peanut vendor in the upper deck of the stadium for the success of the team, too. We're tired of hearing how Philly is just as good as New England (except for the obvious lack of Super Bowl victories).

We're exhausted all the Kyle Boller jokes, we've made plenty of cracks about how the Lions need to draft a WR for the 17th year in a row, we've repeatedly hashed over Kyle Orton's drinking escapades. We've all taken sides on whether or not Tiki Barber is a puss for walking away from the game while he can still walk. We've been treated to years of posts about how Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning will never win the big one because they're both a bunch of chokers who fold under pressure, and now that subject line is obviously dead. And by now we all know that Peyton's little brother is a pole-smoking jag-off who thinks he's bigger than the league. We know that the proper trade value for Randy Moss is a dog, and then you shoot the dog.

We talk salary cap. We talk draft. We talk free agency. We talk contract structures and signing bonuses and contract holdouts and for some reason we even talk about training camp, perhaps the most misleading part of any NFL analysis.

We've hit just about every topic there is to hit regarding the NFL. But through it all, there's really something we've never talked about: the Houston Texans. It's understandable. As far as most of us care, Houston doesn't have an NFL team--we suspect it is the football team for the University of Houston. It can't be a real NFL team, because they're not called the Oilers and Earl Campbell isn't playing for them. We have no idea why anyone would bother to care for a team with a logo that looks more like a postage stamp than a football team.

But you know what? It doesn't matter. We've got someone here with rose-colored glasses for nearly every team in the NFL. Congratulations, you're the lone voice for the Texans. Go ahead and make bold predictions. Who cares? We've had plenty of stupid predictions over the years. If you fail, you'll just add onto the honor roll. If you succeed, you'll get to crow your knowledge over the naysayers here. In the long run, no one is going to really care, though there's a good chance this will be added to the lexicon if you stick around long enough.

So, please. Join in the spirit of the place. Keep making the bold predictions, but expect to hear the hoots of derision. But I beg you... please don't get mad and leave. I really can't take any more Ray Lewis jokes, Matt Millen jokes, and God knows the Patriot love is at frighteningly auto-erotic highs for too many here. This Houston Texan homerism is the freshest thread we've had in a while. Please don't make me listen to any more Tom Brady worship--keep up the Texan posts. Please!

--WP, still waiting for the 1998 NFC Championship game to begin
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