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One way to avoid gridlock is to name one child as executor (aka personal representative) with the other as backup, instead of naming them co-executors. It won’t avoid friction necessarily, but it will minimize it.
Similarly, only one child as POA and Trustee (if you use a Trust).

The Countess is executrix of her parent's wills and their Family Trust, with POA. Her sister has said that she doesn't trust her to divide the estate fairly. She has taken the papers to a attorney to have it checked out. Could become an issue when MIL passes. (FIL died earlier this year.) I hope SIL doesn't do anything foolish, like contesting things in court which would only have the effect of diluting the estate by the amount of the legal fees. The estate, while substantial (at least by our standards), is not in the multi-million range. I (for one) think the Countess will be scrupulous in her division, and will even favor her sister, but money can do awful things to a family's relationships.

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