No. of Recommendations: 17
Ok.

Kid is no longer in crisis, so now I have another issue.

When I first started talking about returning to school full time and not working or working cheap part time jobs while doing it, many people, almost everyone, were very supportive. "Yes, that's a great idea, you should do it!"

Now that I actually told the Oregon job that "I'm not going to pursue the job with your group any longer. For personal reasons, I think I need to remain in this area for now," I'm finding a LOT of people saying things like, "what if you can't make it? what if you don't get enough financial aid?" and other such doubting things.

So, it was a great idea until they started to think about it?

My grandmother is the WORST and I know I should NOT listen to her. After all, she's the one that has no money in retirement and waited to retire until she was too old and sick to work anymore.

She's the one that constantly belittles my mother for following her dreams by saying things like, "we all have to work jobs we don't like." (I have issues with the way Mom doesn't control her money, but really not that many issues with her following her dream. She makes decent money, if she'd just learn how to budget for her erratic income.)

It's probably HER (grandmother's) attitude that led to me dropping out of school the last time in order to work to pay the bills.

NO, we DON'T have to spend our lives working at jobs we hate. I don't have to continue on a path that I'm NOT that comfortable with. I don't have to stay "skilled labor" all my life because SHE is scared and doesn't understand.

I can do this.

Right?

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 4
I can do this.

Right?


Right.

I'm one of those people who believes that playing it safe is, in the long run, one of the riskiest things you can do. Why? Because, by doing what the rest of the world expects or tells you is safe, you don't live your life, you survive it. How boring.

Ask yourself, if you follow this path (taking the risk of returning to school), what is the absolute worst thing that could come out of it? You fail? And...? Then you try something else? Well now, that's certainly something you can manage. And the choices will be yours, not someone else's. Certainly not your grandmother's.

-Neglectarino
Guilty of not always practicing what she preaches...
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 5
The only person stopping you is you. Their will always be negative people. And they never stop. Did the Wright brothers shut up all the idiots that said man can never fly? Nope. They just changed their tune. Started saying that man would never be able to fly long distances. Once that was disproved they said that man couldn't fly fast. That man couldn't fly cheaply. Couldn't fly safely. (despite news stories to the contrary flying still has fewer deaths per capita than driving).

There is only one reason not to do this. If YOU don't think you can. If YOU want to be on more stable financial footing. Then do that first and then go chase your dream.

Don't let pessimists talk you out of reaching for the stars.
Don't let optimists talk you out of having your feet on the ground.
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 3
You most certainly can do it!

Tell Granny (as nicely as possible) that if she doesn't have any thing nice/constructive to say, she shouldn't say anything. You're not going to change your mind and all she'll do by pressing is irritate you.

B
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 11
Oh, Ishtar. Aren't negative family members great?

Listen, we all have things we'd rather not do, that much is true. Shoot, if I could never, ever scrub a bathroom again, I'd be just SO happy. Even the jobs of our dreams is going to have times and tasks we'd really, REALLY rather not do.

But that doesn't mean we shouldn't follow our dreams, or shouldn't pursue what will make us, overall, happy. And I think it is very seldom that what we ultimately want is going to just drop from heaven into our lap - more often, we have to take a risk, leave the firm ground we're currently on and take a leap for the heights.

It is still a great idea to go to school. It is still a fabulous idea to have faith in yourself. It is still the best idea you ever had to take a chance on yourself. Personally, I think it's a pretty sure bet.

You do not have to stay in status quo just because anybody else thinks you should. You have the right to dream, and the will to make those dreams happen, and the full support of your friends here. We'll stand behind you and vigoriously PFFFFFFBT! anybody who says you can't or shouldn't or questions how smart you are, OK?

Hang in there. You're going to make this work, and I'll bet you a burrito than when you do, Gran will stand around saying, "Well, I always knew she could do it, although of course I still say she should(n't) [fill in whatever is currently "foolhardy" in her book here]..."
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Ishtar:

I have to agree, you don't have to spend your life working at jobs that you hate. It only eats away at your insides and creates illness. You are responsible for picking your own path, whether your relatives understand or not.

I know that you have been talking about going back to school for a while now. I do think that this will give you the opportunity to get gainful employment and persue a career that you like and also means that you are attached to an industry that seems to have lays after layoffs.

Go out and do what you want to do.

Catleen
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
Ish,

Yes, you can do this. I think it's just human nature that your acquaintances have been supportive while you were totally uncertain, and are now questioning now that you're becoming more certain. If nothing else, see it as an exercise to make sure you've thought of everything. They want you to make a decision (hence the support for anything), and they want you to make the best decision (hence the questioning now that you seem to be picking a particular option).

You're not alone. I'm actually very guilty of this right now with my girlfriend; it's very obvious to me that she'd be happier if she bit the bullet, took out the unsubsidized Stafford Loans (which are currently the only financial aid available to her), and went to college full-time to complete her Master's degree in a year and a half so she could start doing what she really wants to do (adult education). So I am nudging her as firmly as I can toward that route. And once I get her convinced that this is the route to go, I will subtly change my tune so I can make sure she's doing this because *she* thinks it's the best thing to do, and not because she's blindly following my advice. Because since I'm not her, and I'm not her husband, I don't have intimate knowledge of their entire situation, and I very well might be wrong.

- Kilbia

- Kilbia
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 13
I can do this.

Right?


Right!

I know how you feel -- my grandma was the same way. I went back to school full time when I was about 25, and grandma was tsk-tsking the whole time. Even after I had graduated in the top 10% of my law school class, she was still skeptical: I called her a few months after graduation to tell her that I wouldn't be able to join the family for Thanksgiving, and oh by the way, I was expecting my bar exam results that weekend. Grandma: "Well, Dear, you mustn't be too disappointed if you don't pass... so many don't, you know." Sheesh!

After that, I put my family on a "need to know" basis with respect to my finances, my job plans, and so on. It has saved me a lot of grief over the years because they can't second-guess what they don't know about.

mlk58
passed the bar on the first try
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 3
NO, we DON'T have to spend our lives working at jobs we hate. I don't have to continue on a path that I'm NOT that comfortable with. I don't have to stay "skilled labor" all my life because SHE is scared and doesn't understand.

We'd better not because if we do, I'm giving up the ghost right now and crawling under a rock.

Leviathan
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 4
Ishtar, you have to believe in yourself in order to be successful at anything. Never listen to the naysayers. I think negative people are really projecting their own fears when they try to pooh pooh your plans. What they really mean is "I could never do that, you are so brave."

You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Now get moving!!!!!

:)

Louise
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 2
Ish, you should do it. Two years ago I bit the bullet and started grad school. I did not have a full idea of exactly where the cash (approx. $70k all told) would come from, and it has been very difficult, but I am now on the home stretch and I have already landed a vastly better job. I'm a lot happier in my new spot, and the time and energy the degree has cost was/is worth it.

It will not be terribly easy for you at times, but it will be rewarding in the long term.
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 7
Ish, you should do it. Two years ago I bit the bullet and started grad school. I did not have a full idea of exactly where the cash (approx. $70k all told) would come from, and it has been very difficult, but I am now on the home stretch and I have already landed a vastly better job. I'm a lot happier in my new spot, and the time and energy the degree has cost was/is worth it.

It will not be terribly easy for you at times, but it will be rewarding in the long term


*smack*

That's the sound of grandma's negativity getting slapped outta my head.


Thanks, EVERYONE.

That's what I needed!

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
It's probably HER (grandmother's) attitude that led to me dropping out of school the last time in order to work to pay the bills.

I may be stepping over the limit here and I appologize if you feel I am. I realize family is different for everyone. You may be very close to your family, but you might also feel enough is enough. I can't handle my family's negativity so when I go home I don't stay with them...it helps keep the peace, my sanity, my focus.

I guess what I'm trying to say, and I don't know how reasonable this is, maybe you should give yourself some distance. If grandma's negativity helped influence your decision to quit school the first time, and you are now realizing that school is where your focus needs to be, maybe school shouldn't be a topic with grandma...

R
Family is always sooo touchy...
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
Ishtar says - "Right?"

EF(me) says - RIGHT!!! You can do it.

(((hugs)))

EF
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1

I may be stepping over the limit here and I appologize if you feel I am. I realize family is different for everyone. You may be very close to your family, but you might also feel enough is enough. I can't handle my family's negativity so when I go home I don't stay with them...it helps keep the peace, my sanity, my focus.

I guess what I'm trying to say, and I don't know how reasonable this is, maybe you should give yourself some distance. If grandma's negativity helped influence your decision to quit school the first time, and you are now realizing that school is where your focus needs to be, maybe school shouldn't be a topic with grandma...


Actually, you are right on.

There's a reason they're on the East coast and I'm on the West.

She brought it up because Chandra is with her now, and Chandra is somewhat worried about things. Chandra thinks that if I'm not working we'll end up on the streets or starve. I've been reinforcing that we've had bad times before, and none of that has happened and before I let that happen, we'll sell all the furniture, pack everything else into my truck and move to FL with family. I thought she was doing ok, but apparently expressed some concern to Grandma.

Grandma started out by saying, "what if you don't get enough financial aid?"

Well, I probably won't at first. I'll get turned down because I made too much money last year and have to fight for it because of a change of circumstance. But, I'll have three months severance, unemployment and GI bill to help me out at first. Plus what I can save between now and August. And I'll be fighting to change my disability rating.

"How long does it take to get GI bill started?"

In the past, it took about two months.

"Well, Chandra's worried that you're going to starve."

Please reinforce positive things with her, like I've never let that happen before and I would never let that happen, ok?

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
She's the one that constantly belittles my mother for following her dreams by saying things like, "we all have to work jobs we don't like."

Wow, that one comment alone is pretty telling. Not to diss your grandma, but she sounds pretty negative. There probably isn't much you can do about her attitude (after all, she is your grandma), but you don't have to believe in her *ahem* attitude towards work. You don't have to work a job you don't life. You don't have to become bitter in your later years because you see others getting a chance that perhaps you didn't get. And you don't have to put up with mediocrity when you know you've got a whole load of greatness just waiting to burst out into your life.

So give your grandma a hug the next time she tries to talk down your dream, thank her for her concern, and let her know you think she should lighten up.

-Danielle ( loves her very similar grandma)
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
I can do this.

Right?


Yes, you can.

If someone is making a really valid point about your choices, that's one thing. If someone is shooting you down because they're miserable and misery loves company, well, scr*w 'em.

Ish, you've got this life, and this one only. If you've thought everything through and you think that this is the right thing for you, don't listen to people like your grandmother. She undermines your confidence.

When you decided to have Chandra, how many people told you that you could never survive as a single parent? How many told you how difficult it would be and that you'd end up sorry?

People who look out for you, the people who really have your back, are the ones that say, "Yes, I know it's scary. What's the worst thing that can happen, and how will you deal with that? Great! Go for it!" I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna here, but honestly, my mom and your grandmother sound like they were raised under the same roof, and for years, I haven't done the things most important or most interesting (basically, haven't dared to be truly happy) because I can hear my mother's voice saying, "What if you fail?" It's very, very hard to ignore it, but you have to.

You can do this.

Really.

Gena
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 3

I'm one of those people who believes that playing it safe is, in the long run, one of the riskiest things you can do. Why? Because, by doing what the rest of the world expects or tells you is safe, you don't live your life, you survive it. How boring.


I need to print that out; thanks!

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
You can do anything! You're my hero!

The money will be there, you and Chandra will have a good life, you're going to study hard, get good grades, graduate, and find a job that you love!

Don't listen to the nay-sayers, listen to your heart.

megan
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Hey, Tam, when did you get that lovely blue hat???

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
So I am nudging her as firmly as I can toward that route. And once I get her convinced that this is the route to go, I will subtly change my tune so I can make sure she's doing this because *she* thinks it's the best thing to do, and not because she's blindly following my advice. Because since I'm not her, and I'm not her husband, I don't have intimate knowledge of their entire situation, and I very well might be wrong.

Thanks for offering another perspective.

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0

We'd better not because if we do, I'm giving up the ghost right now and crawling under a rock.


LOL! Thanks!


Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Ish, you should do it. Two years ago I bit the bullet and started grad school. I did not have a full idea of exactly where the cash (approx. $70k all told) would come from, and it has been very difficult, but I am now on the home stretch and I have already landed a vastly better job. I'm a lot happier in my new spot, and the time and energy the degree has cost was/is worth it.

Gotta ask, brewer, where DID the money come from?

Do you have a spouse/partner? Do you have kids?

Did you cut back to bare bones, or do ok with loans and fin aid?

inquiring minds want to know!

Ishtar
(BTW, thanks for the boost)
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
I haven't done the things most important or most interesting (basically, haven't dared to be truly happy) because I can hear my mother's voice saying, "What if you fail?" It's very, very hard to ignore it, but you have to.

Exactly. It's not like the world will end. It's not like Ishtar doesn't have Plans B, C, D, etc. in place. Many things will happen that she doesn't expect and some of those things will make the transition easier for her, while others will make it harder.

But "failure," per se, is not the big monster everyone sets it up to be. It would suck, granted, but there are so many steps in between "Hey, I want to try this" and "Oh, crap, it didn't work out" that it's not likely to matter.

At best, Ishtar finishes with a degree that helps her pursue personal life goals. At worst, she doesn't. And if that happens (and I don't think it will), she's back in a setup similar to her present employment. It's not like this is a black or white situation where it's either all success or all failure, and success is the mansion on the hill and failure is living in a car. And this is coming from someone who didn't finish her PhD work and thus, faced the worst case scenario.

-Neglectarino
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
Ishtar,

Well, I probably won't at first. I'll get turned down because I made too much money last year and have to fight for it because of a change of circumstance.

Not necessarily. Most people don't bother to submit any paperwork for change of circumstance.

Definitely submit the explanation for changed circumstances with your student financial aid package. I went from full employment to part time and emphasized that the income upon which they would be basing their decision was not a true representation of my financial situation. They agreed.

I don't recall if I had to write a letter or if there was a form, but why not ask the financial aid office now? That way you know what you're looking at.

-Neglectarino
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
Yes, Ishtar, you CAN do this.

What you need to do FIRST, though, is make sure that this is what you REALLY want to do.

Email me any time.

Cassandra
:) following her dreams
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
Yes, Ishtar, you CAN do this.

What you need to do FIRST, though, is make sure that this is what you REALLY want to do.

Email me any time.

Cassandra
:) following her dreams

Cass, I love you!!! (In case I haven't mentioned it, Cass is one of the coolest people I've EVER met!)

Yeah, I think I really do want to know this. I didn't tell anyone that I was turning down the Oregon job, I just did it.

Then I called Niam (Monica? My friend, you met her at Cheesecake Factory) and told her I did it. (She wants me to do this, but tries to play devil's advocate) so she very calmly asked, "and how do you feel about that?"

FREE!

Really. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I mean, I did feel good about getting this job right when I needed it and moving up here at the same time my friend moved (to go to UC Davis) but after I was here, it was the same ole, same ole, you know?

So, I stop having to show up for work after Thursday. Then I can get to the school to talk to a couselor AND to the Vet Center to talk to a rep about what to do next.

Yes, I'm scared. But, WORST case scenario is that I end up having to find a full time job, doing what I do now. And that puts me where? Where I am now.

Where I am NOW is WORST CASE.

Ishtar

PS Cass, I have some TIME during the month of July, if you want to try to get together sometime? Maybe a weekend when you aren't too busy? I could head your way, or you could come mine. (post and email)
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 5
Gotta ask, brewer, where DID the money come from?

Do you have a spouse/partner? Do you have kids?

Did you cut back to bare bones, or do ok with loans and fin aid?

inquiring minds want to know!

Ishtar
(BTW, thanks for the boost)

****************

Ugh, I am doing it part time while working full time (my wife has been doing the same thing). I could not do it with kids and without a spouse.

Since we have both been working, it hasn't been hard to cever our basic expenses. Unfortunately, that has also choppped out pretty much all financial aid except loans (and my wife's degree will end up costing an additional $45k or so). We did a lot of chopping of our expenses, but since we are hardly big spenders to begin with, there wasn't a lot of fat to cut. After about a year, my wife got a job at my school, which meant that they picked up my tuition. We have also piled up $20+k in loans and drawn down a fair bit of savings.

In my new job they are picking up the tab for my school from now on. This has some tax benefits, but more importantly it means that my wife is no longer tied to a particular job (which has become much less pleasant with a change of administration). I also got a huge raise at my new job, which is helping us make the tuition for my wife's degree.

Although I have gotten a great deal out of school because I have been actively applying the material as I learn it, part-time night/weekend school is not for the faint of heart. Both of us have come perilously close to burnout, and at times we have had to basically schedule "dates" in order to see each other. Hobbies, a social life and even getting enough sleep have pretty much been fond memories or in-class daydreams. Have I mentioned that getting up for class every Saturday morning for a year sucks?

In short, I have gotten a lot of value out of it, but I have also paid dearly. As a parent, you couldn't afford the price (not talking money here), which is why I will be damned glad when this is over (May '03). We have also held off having kids until then.

Do it full-time. You'll get more help and you will be less stretched personally and have more time for Chandra.
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1

Although I have gotten a great deal out of school because I have been actively applying the material as I learn it, part-time night/weekend school is not for the faint of heart. Both of us have come perilously close to burnout, and at times we have had to basically schedule "dates" in order to see each other. Hobbies, a social life and even getting enough sleep have pretty much been fond memories or in-class daydreams. Have I mentioned that getting up for class every Saturday morning for a year sucks?

In short, I have gotten a lot of value out of it, but I have also paid dearly. As a parent, you couldn't afford the price (not talking money here), which is why I will be damned glad when this is over (May '03). We have also held off having kids until then.

Do it full-time. You'll get more help and you will be less stretched personally and have more time for Chandra.


Thanks for your full, honest answer, brewer!

I have burned out in the past, it's why I've been scared to take any classes since spring '99.

It IS hard to do both, work and school. I know this, and I've even been told that people can expect big dips in GPA the more hours they work. It's kind of hard to change my thinking this way, but I DO think this is the way for me to do it. I can't risk another major burn-out.

Ishtar

Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
She brought it up because Chandra is with her now, and Chandra is somewhat worried about things. Chandra thinks that if I'm not working we'll end up on the streets or starve

My daughter can also be that way at times. Children do not see the future, they only see the *now.* Kids also seem to pick up on the vibes around them. My daughter worries if I park the car somewhere (Will we get a ticket, etc), but your attitude can go a long way toward calming Chandra's fears. She needs to feel like you are both in it together. As long as you and she can have special times once you go to school, I think she'll be fine. I think it's natural to fear the unknown, but there is also comfort knowing you are not alone. If you can discuss her fears and get it all out in the open, she'll feel loads better. I think it would also help for her to know that you are not 100% sure how everything will pan out, but that what you are about to embark on will improve both your lives. And try to explain how. She'll also feel better if there is something she can do to help you (in a 6 year old way). That's what I do with Michelle.

Louise
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
My daughter can also be that way at times. Children do not see the future, they only see the *now.* Kids also seem to pick up on the vibes around them. My daughter worries if I park the car somewhere (Will we get a ticket, etc), but your attitude can go a long way toward calming Chandra's fears. She needs to feel like you are both in it together. As long as you and she can have special times once you go to school, I think she'll be fine. I think it's natural to fear the unknown, but there is also comfort knowing you are not alone. If you can discuss her fears and get it all out in the open, she'll feel loads better. I think it would also help for her to know that you are not 100% sure how everything will pan out, but that what you are about to embark on will improve both your lives. And try to explain how. She'll also feel better if there is something she can do to help you (in a 6 year old way). That's what I do with Michelle.


Thanks, Lulu!

We've done some of this already, I know I just need to reinforce more.

We talked about maybe having more time together with me in school, maybe hitting the playground a couple times a week (which I'm usually too tired to do now.)

We also talked about me needing quiet time to study and the ways she can help me with that. We made a list of "chores" that she either can do or wants to do (she WANTS to start the washing machine and dryer, for example) and started talking about what I'd need help with.

I thought I had most of her fears calmed down and started working on positives.

*sigh*

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Talking about big dips in GPA:

I was a full-time mom of a 3 month old
a full-time worker and a full-time student
All at the same time

and I maintained a 3.5 out of 4.0 GPA

It can be done.

EF
might have been higher if i didnt suck at math
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Thanks for offering another perspective.

****
No problem. And that last sentence bears repeating in a different context: I'm not you, so I could be wrong.

It's just rare that such a fact ever deters me from saying anything. Especially online. ;)

- Kilbia
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Hey, Tam, when did you get that lovely blue hat???

Yikes! I've got a hat! Now, there's irony for you...in "real" life, I can't STAND wearing a hat... 8^D

Onward!
Tamarian
...who apparently needs to look at her own posts a little more often...
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Talking about big dips in GPA:

I was a full-time mom of a 3 month old
a full-time worker and a full-time student
All at the same time

and I maintained a 3.5 out of 4.0 GPA

It can be done.

EF
might have been higher if i didnt suck at math


I admire that, but can't duplicate it.

I did manage to get 3.0 with a two year old, a full time job and part time school, for a few semesters. The last semester I tried it, though, I didn't do so hot. (There's a reason I need to retake the second semester of Calc. My fault for adding a boyfriend into the mix!)

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
I did manage to get 3.0 with a two year old, a full time job and part time school, for a few semesters. The last semester I tried it, though, I didn't do so hot. (There's a reason I need to retake the second semester of Calc. My fault for adding a boyfriend into the mix!)

LOL - I generally have said I can do any two things well - my job and school, my job and a relationship, school and a relationship - but SOMETHING's got to slip... Sounds like you're in a similar boat!

Maureen
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 1
I was a full-time mom of a 3 month old
a full-time worker and a full-time student
All at the same time


ditto, full time Engineering student, 1 full time job, 1 work study, 1 newborn (2 months after I went back) through 2 year old (when I graduated), boyfriend, house, home & hearth... don't think I slept for any of it.
And I was not an honor student - but I did it! and THAT was the point.

go for it.

peace & completion
t
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0

ditto, full time Engineering student, 1 full time job, 1 work study, 1 newborn (2 months after I went back) through 2 year old (when I graduated), boyfriend, house, home & hearth... don't think I slept for any of it.
And I was not an honor student - but I did it! and THAT was the point.


Just looking at that makes me shudder and TIRED. I REALLY don't think I could do that. I'm exhausted enough as it is and sleep is very important for my (mental) health. (seriously, not making an excuse - bipolar, less than 6-7 hours sleep a night and the shrink starts worrying.)

Ishtar
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Just looking at that makes me shudder and TIRED. I REALLY don't think I could do that.

During that time, i just did it.
Now I look back (the child is 12) with another 2 year old and think "How did I ever do it?"

peace & sleep
t
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
"How long does it take to get GI bill started?"

In the past, it took about two months.


Ish, if you already know which school you will attend, the school can do paperwork so that you can have the lump sum of the tuition deducted from you total. In effect, they loan you the money, then you don't get the monthly check until that money is "paid back." Then, the regular monthly checks kick in. Look into this, it may be helpful.

fredinseoul
strong proponent of the GI Bill
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Absolutely you can do this! "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." (Was that Henry Ford? Einstein? Why my brain stores quotes and not who says them, I'll never know.) There will never be a perfect time to go back to school, but with faith, perseverance, hard work, and the occasional helping hand, you can do it.

It will not be easy, but I think it will be worth it. And once it's done, you don't have to worry about it ever again. :-) (I agonize over decisions, so for me it's a relief to not have certain possibilities come up again.)

Good luck!


--Booa
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
I was a full-time mom of a 3 month old
a full-time worker and a full-time student
All at the same time


Me too. But luckily my daughter arrived toward the end of my schooling. I was in the military working full time and I went to school full time as well. Was married and had my daughter. By the time my daughter arrived, I had only electives left to take, thankfully. But those three electives were tough to complete.

Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Cass, I love you!!! (In case I haven't mentioned it, Cass is one of the coolest people I've EVER met!)


< blushing > Aw, shucks, Ish! You're pretty cool yerself!

Cass, I have some TIME during the month of July, if you want to try to get together sometime? Maybe a weekend when you aren't too busy? I could head your way, or you could come mine.

Yes, come visit me -- we can go play in LA! Go to Malibu, etc! :)

Cassandra
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
Ish wrote: Gotta ask, brewer, where DID the money come from?

Brewer responded : ...my wife got a job at my school, which meant that they picked up my tuition

Hey Ish, that's a thought...

Could you get a job at your college? I work for a college that even provides tuition reimbursement to part-timers! My school will also reimburse employees for classes at other institutions - up to the amount that the classes would have cost at THIS school.

What a great concept - you get a job that helps to pay bills and THEY pick up all the tuition.

I think going to school full-time sounds like the most ideal situation - if you can swing it. But there are OTHER options besides giving up the dream if the fin aid is scarce.

Wendy
Print the post Back To Top
No. of Recommendations: 0
I know how you feel -- my grandma was the same way. I went back to school full time when I was about 25, and grandma was tsk-tsking the whole time.

Geez, I think my Mom must have two grandkids that I don't know about, lol. Plus after 3 years of putting myself through school and hearing how it was a big mistake the whole time - I land a great job and starting hearing how she always knew I could do it.

My parents are older (now in their mid 70's) so maybe it's a generational thing.

Lael
back to lurking
Print the post Back To Top