No. of Recommendations: 1
I feel overwhelmed by all I am reading here. Not on the discussion boards, but just the main articles of MF are all bringing me more anxiety than any other subject. Articles with titles like these ( I'm paraphrasing but this is the gist: )
1."How are you doing with your savings?"
2."tips for managing your retirement fund"
3."how to shore up your emergency fund so you don't meet with disaster"
4."why gambling on video lottery is a bad idea"
5."just invest in some great stock instead"
6."Tips on saving transportation costs when working three jobs" and
7."what to do with your dividends for maximum financial boost"

All these have at least one thing in common for me: They all make me feel like the dumbest, lowest loser on the planet. I have personal reactions to each of these articles without even needing to read every word of them, and i think by reading those you'll see where I'm coming from. The question I have overall is: Am I being exceptionally spineless, being pushed aroundby all these worries and doubts? Or do you also feel this way? Do you think its common?

My reactions to the 7 titles:
1. Savings? What the hell are you talking about I'm trying to get enought together so they don't shut the power off.
2.What? What the hell man? Retirement fund? Are you insane? I always assumed I'd be dead by age 50! Actually now I remember: I did have about 100K saved at one point from an inheritance. I can't tell ou where it went though. I remember cashing in CD's before they were ripe. I remember not worrying about money for a few years, and that's about all. I also got a gift of 25K to buy a car and I have no idea where I spent that. I know I have the same old vehicle I've had since 2007, and it has no abilit to move under its own power. It does turn on. But I think the transmission is completely destroyed. The interior is disgusting, the exterior is dented. If it could drive I'd call it Rolling poverty. But it can't drive. So where is that $ I had for a car? I don't know. I guess I spent it on stuff, but I have nothing to show for it.
3. Ok, now I'm really freaking out. What exactly is an emergenc fund and how do I get one? I'm 54, was I supposed to do something that I haven't done? or the other way 'round? It may seem obvious but its not. I am starting to panic.
4. video lotteryis bad? Now I'm really confused. I sometimes get a jackpot of $1500 and I get big spins all the time. My only problem is that after a night of gambling the money is gone from my bank account. I know I went to the ATM, several times, but I couldn't tell you how many without looking it up, and no way do I want to look at that. ...Ok I just looked at it. It shows that I withdrew 1,210.00 last night, and now I don't have enough for rent. Oh but I won and cashed in my tickets, so I have that. Well my pockets only have $7.65 in them. Hmm. Oh, yeah I tried to increase my winnings, thinking I was on a roll. I guess that 300 I cashed out with got eaten by the machines as I tried to get ahead for once. One thing that really bugs me, is that I always go gambling because I feel I don't have enough money, like I 'll have just enough for the rent, and I'm on my way to get a money order, and I think, you know, you have to have money to make money, right? so if I pay the rent I'll be left with zero and then I'll be hungry and depressed. So I'll take, say $100 from that rent wad,and easily double it, then put the 100 back, pay the rent and I'll have an extra 100 for groceries etc. So then, for some reason I picked bad machine. It ate my $100. Ok, well certainly if I do it again on a different machine, I'll win plenty then. Well they say third times a charm...I always get something on the third try. So I do, I get something on the 3rd try but it's only 200. I need 300 to break even, and 400 to meet my goal of having a little pocket cash. so then I take some of the 200 to try for that 400 goal, and I end up with the lottery closing on me after 20 minutes,when my machine total was $12.32 which kind of snaps me awake to the reality that now not only did I fail to meet my goal, but I went way down, leaving me with a net loss of 288, making me a true fool,and now my rent is incomplete by nearly $300. And I have no money for anything else. That wasn't the plan. And it has happendd like this a thousand times, and still I am astonished that I lost instead of gained, and I then have to make up some reason why the rent will be late for the 17th month out of the last 2 years. I don't like that part. That is why I agree that video lottery is bad, and yet , every other day It seems that as I am worrying about my sad finances and anxiety, the regret that I did this to myself, that I had plenty in my hand, and due to greed basically I am left poor. If that isn't disempowering and humiliating what is. Moving on..
5. the stocks are performing well. Like this one-- why recently it rose 667% It will probably do so again soon. On each share you could increase your money value by $500!! wow. So, how much does each share cost? Each share costs, uh...oh here it is..$705.28 so did you want a hundred, or perhaps a thousand shares? Ok so how much stock of that could I get...how about a quarter share? you see where this is going?
6. If I had two jobs I might consider getting a third one, but since I'm struggling to get one up to 40 hours, um...
7.What to do with my dividends. Ok that is one I'm not going to worry over.
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