What sort of accommodations, I mean.Postulate an older single person living alone. Money is not the primary consideration. Safety, social, convenience all matter. Specifically, I am thinking of my wife. She is some years younger than I am and our expectation is that she may outlive me a number of years.Her attitude is "I will leave my house when they carry me out feet first." I want her to have the security and social interaction of some sort of larger community.Also, please discuss.
Single family home.
Retirement housing (55 or older)
Cardboard box under a bridge.
Other - please comment
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Her attitude is "I will leave my house when they carry me out feet first." That was my sole surviving aunt's position until she was found lying in her hallway unable to get up and confessed that this was the third time it had happened. Then it was a mad scurry to find someplace fast since the doctor said she couldn't go home from the hospital unattended.What's the old saw, "Man plans, God laughs"? It's good to have a backup plan.I didn't vote since I think the type of housing unit is near the bottom of the list of concerns. I'd start with a general location where she'll have access to community of some sort, be it friends or family, and reasonable access to routine and emergency health care. Then you can look to see what kind of affordable housing options there are.PhilRule Your Retirement Home Fool...who is having these discussions with friends and family since I hope to be found dead in my apartment many years from now, but who knows?
There are too many variables to be able to answer the poll. A lot would depend on age, health, current living accommodations, etc. Even the cardboard box might appeal to some if the view was good.Shortly after my father passed, my mother moved to an assisted living facility at age 70 and enjoyed it for 20 years. Some people thrive on such facilities.OTOH my MIL is 90 living independently in an apartment and “knows” she would not be happy with assisted living although I believe she would grow to appreciate it and her health condition may make it necessary.Those that currently live in a single family home may find it difficult to adjust to a condo, apartment, or retirement housing. Those currently living in a condo or apartment might find the transition to retirement housing somewhat easier.I think there is a level of comfort in a facility that has independent living, assisted living, and nursing facilities where one can transition from one to another as needed.Bob
She figures someone will eventually find her. In the eantime,thecats won't starve. THey willeat her.8^(
She feels young and alive and thinks a 55+ place is for the elderly. But she might enjoy being in the same facility/community with a couple of friends when she's older and alone. Also, is she accustomed to taking care of things like bill paying, arranging for services like car maintenance, lawn care, handyman? If you take care of all that, a SFH might be a little overwhelming when she's suddenly alone and grieving.My mother's 87 and happy in a SFH. She always took care of everything--bill paying, arranging for services, so no adjustment on that score after Daddy died. A bigger adjustment was the fact that he did all the cooking after he retired, many years before she did.She isn't staying there for the memories--she bought this house next door to me a couple of years after Daddy died. She's a little lonely sometimes, but she has her clubs and friends, errands and chores. She doesn't drive much any more, and this isn't a place with good public transit. When I'm home (we travel a lot, these days gone about 6 months a year), I take her on every kind of appointment--this time, I made most of the appointments for her. I think she's beginning to lose a tiny bit of executive function at this point. I tried to persuade her to go into the local continuing care community, which has active living, assisted living, and nursing home all on a single campus, but she finds the thought of being around so many old people repellant(!).
She feels young and alive and thinks a 55+ place is for the elderly. But she might enjoy being in the same facility/community with a couple of friends when she's older and alone. Also, is she accustomed to taking care of things like bill paying, arranging for services like car maintenance*, lawn care*, handyman*? If you take care of all that, a SFH might be a little overwhelming when she's suddenly alone and grieving.*I do all of these now. I plan to be around for another 10 years or so. Maybe my fret is too early. OTOH. I could croak at almost any time. She is a stubborn bitch. Won't listen to her husband's good advice! Imagine!CNC
My mom and dad never went to assisted living......mom was getting close to needing it.....but was too independent.....My Uncle, at 91, sold his house and moved into an assisted living place. he wasn't able to take care of his 80 year old house any longer....big 2 story (with basement) 4 bedroom......and do the outside work like cleaning gutters....plus the neighborhood had really deteriorated..so he sold it and moved into assisted living/nursing home type place. did fine till just after 94.....then required more care and went downhill quick. I'm planning on staying in house for another 5 or 10 years till 70 or older..then I'll worry about it. The ham radio and assisted living aren't too compatible....As long as I can drive and get around, I can afford to pay someone to mow the grass...or even clean the house if I get back to paying for that. t.
If you live in a city with good public transportation, you may have more options. For the rest of us, driving is essential for so many things. Eventually most should move into independent living facilities. They provide most of the essentials, plus they have activities and potential for spending time with other people.Otherwise, people tend to lose the ability to be with people when they can no longer drive. Being alone in your own home has its limitations.You have more options if you can hire people to take you places and help take care of you. But finding the right people can be a challenge. And its beyond the resources of many.
The ham radio and assisted living aren't too compatible....I feel your pain. Looks like a dipole in the attic or a flag pole vertical will be about the best you can hope to get by with. Sure puts a damper on the DX.
If you live in a city with good public transportation, you may have more options. For the rest of us, driving is essential for so many things. Eventually most should move into independent living facilities. They provide most of the essentials, plus they have activities and potential for spending time with other people.Otherwise, people tend to lose the ability to be with people when they can no longer drive. Being alone in your own home has its limitations.You have more options if you can hire people to take you places and help take care of you. But finding the right people can be a challenge. And its beyond the resources of many. I agree with you in concept, but where does it start/stop?Who decides when I need to move into an "independent living facility"?Is this to be left up to Obana and his death squads?I'll die in my house and I'll protect to the end.Ron
I agree with you in concept, but where does it start/stop?Who decides when I need to move into an "independent living facility"?Is this to be left up to Obana and his death squads?I'll die in my house and I'll protect to the end.Oh, good for you. It sounds to me like you'll be perfectly happy living in isolation. "A stranger is an enemy you haven't met yet."Don't worry. Nobody's going to go out of his way to get you to socialize. If someone makes that mistake you can, as Florence King suggested, greet him on your front porch with a shotgun.PhilRule Your Retirement Home Fool
"Who decides when I need to move into an "independent living facility"?Is this to be left up to Obana and his death squads?"You'll get moved out when some welfare weenie or queenie with six or kids demands better housing and the Obama drones figure you really don't need your house and find an excuse to move you out, then 'take' your house in exchange for all the ObamaKare you'll get in the independent living facility that borders on criminal neglect. t.
Who decides when I need to move into an "independent living facility"?Is this to be left up to Obana and his death squads?Did anyone mention deciding where someone else should live? I didn't, and I don't intend to. I may use my (limited) powers of persuasion to try to talk my wife into some kind of community living for the two of us when we decide to close our window covering business (Right now we need space for it.) Actually, she and her sister may decide to share a house. Hope they can get along well.I'll die in my house and I'll protect to the end.Ron Well, goodie. You sound like a nasty person. Glad I'm not you.CNC
Well crap,2 out of the 3 responses to my post seemed to think that I'm a bad/mean person. You're entitled to your opinion but I do beg to differ.I've worked hard all my life, and my wife has too, to be able to own our home free and clear. We like being able to make our own decisions and not letting someone else make them for us. Fortunately, we bought our home when there was a different president in the white house. This has worked well for us. I'm 59 and on disability so I can't work anymore. I have COPD/emphysena and this is not something you can be cured of. The death squads will attack people like me because we're easiest. Not cancer patiets, because there's too much news coverage and human interest.Little old people with no relatives will simply start to die. No one kills them, the death squads just decide the costs don't justify the results.Ron
I've worked hard all my life, and my wife has too, to be able to own our home free and clear. We like being able to make our own decisions and not letting someone else make them for us. You have said something like this now two times. Who is it you fear will be making a decision for you about where you live? Fortunately, we bought our home when there was a different president in the white house. This has worked well for us. We bought our current house while Obama was president. This has worked well for us.I'm 59 and on disability so I can't work anymore. I have COPD/emphysena and this is not something you can be cured of. So, you are a welfare leach, eh? Sucking at the public teat. Are you then a hypocrite? The death squads will attack people like me because we're easiest. Not cancer patiets, because there's too much news coverage and human interest.Which death squads are you talking about? I don't recall anyone here (other than you) mentioning death squads.CNC
Who decides when I need to move into an "independent living facility"?For my mom, the two biggest pluses:-- No food to shop for; meals to prepare-- Plenty of opportunities for socializingWhen she and my dad were in my brother's house in a suburban neighborhood, she never really got to socialize with anyone.
I don't recall anyone here (other than you) mentioning death squads.Shhh! If you don't mention them they won't come for you. The man in the black helicopter told me so.PhilRule Your Retirement Home Fool
Who decides when I need to move into an "independent living facility"?This is a very real question. I have just been through this with an elderly neighbor who most thought should give up driving after several minor accidents. She resisted. The state kept calling her in for retesting. She passed several times.This is not an Obama problem. But it is one that individuals need to make with assistance and encouragement from their family, friends, clergyman, doctors, and others they trust.Every situation is different, but most of us will begin facing these difficult choices one day. May we all make the right choices before we get in trouble.
We like being able to make our own decisions and not letting someone else make them for us. Who is it you think is making decisions for you? Are there storm troopers at the front door or something?Fortunately, we bought our home when there was a different president in the white house. So did we. We bought one when Jimmy Carter was President. Another when it was Reagan. Another when it was Clinton. What does this have to do with anything?I'm 59 and on disability so I can't work anymore.This is hilarious. I have emphysema and I continued working until I decided to retire. I'm not "on disability", nor was I ever. For someone who plays the Conservative card, isn't it odd that you are on welfare?The death squads will attack people like me because we're easiestWhich death squads, again? I'm assuming you mean Humana and Aetna, both of which refused to pay my insurance bills for no understandable reason. Of course now I'm on Medicare, and I haven't had a problem in the slightest.Medicare: brought to you by Democrats. Attempted murder of it by Republicans. Your disability, too, by the way.
Boy is this topic timely for us! DH and I are going to visit the Continuing Care facility closest to us on this Saturday. Next Saturday we are going to visit the other one that interests us in Palo Alto. 2nd visits at both places. A third place proved much too costly to investigate further.Our reasons for deciding to move to a CC facility when we live in a convenient one storey 4-bedroom 2.5 bath room house with a garden and room to grow vegetables and putter?*We are now in our 70s.*To help our daughters who live nearby. We have no other relatives in the USA who could help them make major decisions for us ( yes we have a Living Will etc) and we don't want them to have worries of any sort as they struggle between their young families, their jobs and two elderly parents...*DH will never drive again. His knee will never bend. Our suburb has poor public transport.*DH is still working and happy to do so, and this can be done from his home wherever he is.*DH needs a LOT of intellectual stimulation..interesting lectures and discussions, high level of bridge or other games, constant involvement in political issues and discussions, Temple involvement,some volunteering, theater, his choir etc etc and we need a swimming pool and fitness classes. In a big enough facility in an area like Palo Alto ( Stanford etc) these are easy to obtain. * We are still young enough to make "new lives" if we move now, but also want to stay close to our children, current friends and hobbies..* I have found throughout my life that I can be happy anywhere. I do, however, need some greenery, some dirt to putter in, and access to the coast or water...a little more difficult to find in these facilites in urban settings. I can volunteer anywhere. I'm very happy with my own company, but DH needs more interaction with others.The costs locally are going to be fairly hefty. Even preliminary talks a year ago showed a two-bedroom place in these homes ranged from the high $600,000s to low $800,000s, with approx $7000 a month fees.Probably more now. Costs may prove prohibitive. I really don't like having to buy in. I'd like to just rent, but the facility that rented ( we saw one) was very gloomy.Soooo...we are looking and aiming to move in May 2014. We are going to start downsizing and clearing out 34 years of clutter...My younger daughter is coming Friday this week, to start on the garage!!This is a HUGE decision we are making. In fact we started only last week, (when we talked to a realtor,) thinking really seriously and setting a goal date.All advice welcomed!!Big Momma
Death squads? WTF are you talking about?The term "Death Squads" was dreamed up by Rush or some other conservative wing nut. It is intended to inflame and cause the True Believers to march.GordonAtlanta
It is intended to inflame and cause the True Believers to march.It seems as if you define "True Believer" to be anyone who doesn't march in lockstep to the progressive agenda. What does that make you?--fleg
It seems as if you define "True Believer" to be anyone who doesn't march in lockstep to the progressive agenda. What does that make you?Sorry, but you are wrong.Try reading thishttp://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3D...
Is this to be left up to Obana and his death squads?What exactly are these "death squads" of which you speak?culcha
Oh, my...First, you didn't exactly "work hard all your life"--you were on publicly funded (maybe also employer funded?) disability by age 59, and possibly younger. And yes, you can thank previous Democratic Congresses for your SSDI. Watch out for Republican Congresses--they want to take it away or at least reduce your income. You can also thank a Democratic Congress and President if your wife will get half of your Social Security benefit (if she didn't earn more than that on her own work record--as I did).How nice that you like to make your own decisions, with luck, that will continue. But with COPD/emphysema, you get less oxygen than your brain requires for optimal function. So I suspect the decisions you make are getting worse over time. COPD also makes it very hard to exercise, so you may be overweight and have cardiovascular problems. I can understand your paranoia about someone taking away your health care. But it's the GOP, not President Obama, who'd like to replace Medicare with a voucher system--good luck covering even the premiums with a voucher designed for people without serious health problems.My FIL died of COPD/emphysema, my uncle has it now, and it's no picnic so you have my sympathy, even if you did bring on yourself by smoking. Uncle was fit, slender and athletic and just a light to moderate smoker, but COPD/emphysema finally caught up with him in his 70s. He's in his 80s now, has had quadruple bypass surgery and two stents, and very lucky he is to have a healthy, hard-working much younger wife to take care of him and run her own business partially from home to bring in enough money to cover his needs. He became a Fox News watcher since becoming pretty much house-bound, so he thinks like you. I blame the oxygen deprivation as well Roger Ailes & friends.We also own our house free & clear, but I attribute that to luck as much as hard work--after all, I took about 10 years off as a SAHM, then worked part-time for about another 10 years, and also retired 10 years early at age 55, so a lotta zeroes in my Social Security calculation! Even so, I earned about 3/4 as much SS as my husband, and he worked from his freshman year in college to age 63--over 40 years. We worked in the software industry during much of its heyday--we worked hard, but being in this industry was lucky, too.My husband had to retire due to disability last December. He started Social Security in April and was approved for SSDI last month. We thank the Democratic party every month when our checking account receives his SS and SSDI (and more besides when I start my SS this fall).But we are fighting with our health insurance company (he's too young for Medicare) to cover the tests that pinpointed and now monitor his condition (logopenic primary progressive aphasia, a rare form of dementia). Funny, they paid his doctor for his time explaining the results to him, but not for the hours of testing itself. He's supposed to get retested every 3 months at about $1500 a pop in expense uncovered by insurance. The finance clerk sez Medicare pays this, but he's 64, so not yet. Who's got the death panels, again--government or insurance companies?! I think we will postpone his next battery of tests till he starts Medicare next spring, saving $3,000 that I would rather spend making my husband happy in what cognitive time he has left.PS--I am also ticked off at Obama, but for something he actually proposed, not something imaginary from a campaign smear. Obama has proposed that chained-CPI mechanism for reducing the annual COLA in SS & SSDI income. Booooo!PPS--What is your biggest expense in retirement? Ours is health care.
I'm so sorry about your DH's knee, Big Momma. But I'm sure you'll find a great continuing care facility where you both can be happy and close enough to your family.
What is your biggest expense in retirement? Ours is health care.My wife's cross stitching, needlepoint, quilting and other girly stuff. My golf is 100% paid by my marshaling.Regards,ImAGolfer (retired '03)
Our biggest monthly expense is our personal escrow account. We put in $1500/mo that goes to pay annual expenses, i.e real estate taxes, quarterly tax payments for Fed and State, auto/umbrella/house insurance, winter travel/ Christmas.Don't get me started on having to pay state income tax and a sales tax of 9.5% due to living in Arkansas. This means we should have stayed in Florida.The medical expenses for DH, aged 69 are taken care of by the VA, but we still carry Medicare and a good supplement for both of us.As for the blessing of the Dems.....spare me the gushing please!!!For that matter, spare me the blessings of the Repubs also.Regarding Fox News, I'll take that anyday of the likes of Ed Schulz, Peirs Morgan and that dolly named Rachael. Oh, and how about the tickled leg guy Chris Matthews.
Regarding Fox News, I'll take that anyday of the likes of Ed Schulz, Peirs Morgan and that dolly named Rachael. Oh, and how about the tickled leg guy Chris Matthews.It's a good thing there are choices, then. I choose no TV news 'cept the occasional PBS NewsHour, Frontline, Nova. I never watched much "lefty news." I don't even know who Ed Schultz and Peirs MOrgan are (but I bet it's spelled Piers-), or even what gender Piers Morgan is. While I don't think Chris Matthews is exactly an ignoramus, he's always grated on me. I hate interviewers who run roughshod over guests--like most of them on Fox when I used to watch, but amazingly enough, Fox News TV was once my major news source in the 90s and early 00s...before Bill O'Reilly went nuts and even the soft-spoken Neil Cavuto got nasty.'That dolly named Rachel' is a Stanford grad and Rhodes Scholar with a PhD from Oxford (if Rachel Maddow is a 'dolly,' what are those blow-dried airheads on Fox?). Rachel has this to say about her politics: "I'm undoubtedly a liberal, which means that I'm in almost total agreement with the Eisenhower-era Republican party platform."We now return you to your regularly scheduled Retirement ;-)
What is your biggest expense in retirement? Ours is health care.Ours has been health care as well. But DW joins me on Medicare in September, dropping our costs more than $12,000 per year (yay! -- more travel!) over what they were before I signed up. Until I started Medicare last year, we had been paying over $1100 per month in insurance premiums for a policy with $1500 deductibles, 30% copays and essentially no drug coverage. Now I pay $1140 per year for my Part B supplemental and something like $400 for Part D, while DW will be getting an Advantage plan with no premiums. And the deductibles are something like $300 and with much smaller copays than 30%. The American taxpayer is certainly being very generous in helping to provide us a more comfortable lifestyle, not to mention the 40% or so of our expenses that are borrowed from the futures of your kids and grandkids Last year travel was our second biggest expense and the year before it was home repair/maintenance, as it might be next year when we spring for a new roof, although travel could win again.--fleg
Our biggest monthly expense is our personal escrow account. We put in $1500/mo that goes to pay annual expenses, i.e real estate taxes, quarterly tax payments for Fed and State, auto/umbrella/house insurance, winter travel/ Christmas.Escrowing is a great idea, although I wouldn't put taxes, insurance, vacation, and gifts in the same category.Don't get me started on having to pay state income tax and a sales tax of 9.5% due to living in Arkansas. This means we should have stayed in Florida.SC is good for retirees on middle income (I mean REAL middle income, like the middle 3 income quintiles, not the definition of middle income that goes up to $250k or even $400k!). South Carolina doesn't tax Social Security, and starting at age 65, not the first $15k of retirement income per person. Property taxes are low, but hurricane insurance is high, something you would be familiar with from Florida. BTW, NY state is also good for middle-income retirees, at least if they don't drive too much (high gas taxes) or own expensive real estate (high prop taxes). I think 9.5% sales taxes is as high as NY City! At least in AR you don't need to worry about hurricanes, although regular rainstorms have been causing problems like flooding and sinkholes in many states lately.The medical expenses for DH, aged 69 are taken care of by the VA, but we still carry Medicare and a good supplement for both of us.I'm glad the taxes we've paid over the years are helping everyone over 65 in general, and a retired serviceman in particular.
I'm glad the taxes we've paid over the years are helping everyone over 65 in general, and a retired serviceman in particular. ====Thanks Alstro, my DH is a disabled Viet Nam vet. We're grateful everyday for the wonderful care he has received over the years.
Ron, in rereading one of my posts, I deeply regret saying and humbly apologize for implying that you didn't work hard all of your life. That was very rude and totally uncalled for :-( As a punishment to myself, I'm not going to FA the post even though I'm ashamed of saying that. (Feel free to do so yourself if it is ticking you off, however.)
SC is good for retirees on middle income (I mean REAL middle income, like the middle 3 income quintiles, not the definition of middle income that goes up to $250k or even $400k!). South Carolina doesn't tax Social Security, and starting at age 65, not the first $15k of retirement income per person.OR is a mixed bag. The 9% income tax kicks in at a fairly low level of taxable income, but SS is exempt and we have no sales tax. You are also allowed to deduct all your medical expenses, not just those above 7.5% of your adjusted gross income. Oops -- it's now up to 10% thanks to ObamaCare. Flooding isn't much of a problem in most areas but you'll want to consder earthquake insurance if you live west of the Cascades, where the majority of the population does.If your income is on the higher end, you'd be better off across the mighty Columbia in WA, where there is no personal income tax and you can avoid the sales tax on high-ticket items by purchasing across the river (except for cars). And where you can enjoy the same blessed climate.--fleg
Hi, Astroe. How is the hallowed ground of Chas? My biggest expense is also health related. I found out I had plantar fasciitis with a bone spur in my right heel. (NOT comfortable) With that were many expenses. Granted the doctor's visit was free; however, the orthotics were not., i.e., two pairs of orthotic shoes, a special contraption to use during sleep, as well as additional show inserts, all totaling about $1K. But, the money was well spent, as I no longer suffer the extreme pain and can walk normally. As you know, all of this transpired after our last meeting in May. Fortunately, I heal very fast, after listening to the doctor very carefully.Now, the neuralgia (byproduct of Shingles) is again rearing its ugly head, but exercise helps that too, except for my knee at night. But, that too shall pass. As far as DH is concerned, always look at each day as a gift. That way, when you wake up with him beside you, you can have that wonderful smile on your face. As far as everyone else on this Board is concerned, Astroe's DH is a very, very, very bright man and loving to his wonderful wife.Donna (who loves her DH's coffee)
Malaoshi,We moved to our retirement house about 4 years ago, after spending ~30 years in the old house. We had accumulated a ton of stuff. It comes from having the space to save it<sigh>. Some of it was the accumulation that two boys acquire as they grow up. We gave the usable toys, skates, smaller bikes, etc. to the church and other charities.Some of it was from departed parents and relatives. We didn't really need three sets of very dated silver plate (service for 12) cutlery nor the Zweisel crystal. (That was disposed of in an estate auction after my Mother died, along with kids BR furniture.)All in all, it took about 6 weeks to sort through the stuff and pack. Discarding the true junk was helped by having a dumpster that the folks fixing up the old house had brought in. Another week or two was spent packing and moving the more usable stuff for future disposal.If you are targeting May of 2014, consider holding an estate sale in April. An "estate sale" is a fancy name for a "garage sale" implying older, quality items. Sales have the drawback that not everything sells. The alternative is holding an auction. Sort the things to sell, photograph it and inventory it. It facilitates describing what's available, especially if you hold an auction. (Most auctioneers post photos and inventory online at auctions.com. I encourage you to peruse the website for auctions in your zip code to give you the flavor of what they do and what is for sale.) Unfortunately, most auctioneers are lousy photographers. They do an adequate job on tools and such. I set up a tripod to photograph unusual things for the auction before packing them in boxes. We included the quilts that Mom had and MIL's large "piano doll" and some German porcelain. That helped draw a larger, different crowd. You have my utmost sympathy. It's a monumental task, but it is doable - and survivable.PMPM
We are currently living in a corporate rental unit while our new much smaller house is being built.PM nailed it when stated we had a lot of stuff because we could. 3000sf into 1700 is a challenge for sure. We tossed, gave away etc. We didn't have the luxury of time since our house sold far quicker than we ever thought it would.We find now, no matter how much we actually thought we had gotten rid of, our stash still requires one storage unit 10x30 and another that is 15x20. We have little furniture in storage as we bought new, but the storage units are full of boxes....lots and lots of boxes. The sad part is with the exception of wardrobe boxes, the only items I remember are my quilting supplies.It is a great idea to photograph your treasures headed for a new home, and perhaps frame a small part of an old quilt made by grandmothers.In the end, you'll find how little you can actually live with. For us, we have one final giveaway planned as our boxes are opened in October. Thank goodness it gets easier with time.
plantar fasciitis with a bone spur...I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but very glad you're doing so well--yay, Donna!Astroe's DH is a very, very, very bright man and loving to his wonderful wife.Thanks for noticing and posting that! We hug a lot, several times a day as well as pretty much all night. I'm still in love with him, and vv. At the moment, he's washing the breakfast dishes. He's been happily working on model of the Millennium Falcon this week--I bought it years ago, but he never found the time for it while he was working. He still has steady hands, good eyesight, and a sense of how things fit together, none of which depend on language, although I think understanding instructions is starting to become a little more difficult.PS...We were very lucky to have the pleasure of Donna's company twice this year, for a few days at our house with lindytoes, and when we met up in Murrell's Inlet SC at the beginning of our RV trip.
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