Just sharing an article. One point they make is one that we see often here: what to do with our time.https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/things-that...Hopefully I won't fall into a rut. I expect I'll do mostly nothing for a time, but traveling should break me out of the rut. Assuming we don't all have to wear hazmat suits next year.I'm not terribly social. We mostly keep to ourselves. That limits opportunities to do things (like have lunch and chat).1poorguy
What to do with our time . . . This does appear listed as an issue in a lot of articles on retirement. I've never understood that. I wonder if people who have that problem tended to have jobs where most of their work required them to take orders from someone. I never even let people tell me what I needed to do when I was working and I certainly didn't need that once I retired (at age 49 in 2003). I started retirement making lists of things I wanted to do because I was worried about the warnings from all these articles on retirement. But I quickly realized that my lists just kept getting longer no matter how productive I was at addressing items on the list. Each endeavor I undertook made me think of a handful of other things to put on the list. I was never going to get to everything I wanted to do.Staying social . . .COVID is the bigger challenge to face about staying social. But today, you can stay social via email, texting, and social media. Although I live in Arizona and have not traveled out of the state since COVID, in the past year I've made new friends in Colorado, Illinois, New Mexico and Southern California. We started our conversations via LinkedIn or Facebook, but now discuss things via email and text messages on a regular basis. I also remember to wish dozens of colleagues I used to work with happy birthday and happy anniversary each year. This usually results in an exchange of emails over a period of a week or two where we catch up and talk about things. I do miss a lot of the group activities my Archaeology organizations used to provide. We still can participate in field surveys outside. We wear masks, stand about 10 feet apart, and walk in straight lines looking for artifacts or architecture features in the desert. We really wouldn't need the masks if it weren't for the fact that when someone finds something significant, the whole group has a tendency to run over and stick their heads together to look at it. One thing I've taken up since December is flying a drone over archaeology sites to take video and photos that document the environment of the ruin. I'm studying for my drone pilot certificate now and plan to take the test soon. I do not intend to do any drone piloting that actually requires me to get certified as a drone pilot, but learning the FAA rules and procedures seemed interesting enough that I decided to set the goal and work towards it. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPNw_gqKvJOjAM5a6U48ZBQ
ust sharing an article. One point they make is one that we see often here: what to do with our time.https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/things-that......Hopefully I won't fall into a rut. I expect I'll do mostly nothing for a time, but traveling should break me out of the rut. Assuming we don't all have to wear hazmat suits next year.I wake up every morning with nothing to do. I work as fast as I can, but by the end of the day I still have nothing to do.CNC
Retirement came suddenly, a company 'offer' at a time I thought they were done downsizing. A hectic couple years, many others had taken earlier offers or, like my 1st, 2nd, and District guys had been nudged out because they were up top, making too much mood... So I grabbed that ring at just shy of 62 years, just shy of 40 years service.. It was time... 1st year, a little tight, but no commute, no motels in the middle of nowhere, etc.. Woke up many nights ticked off about this or that from work days, that faded too, but some tales as told bring it back.. Good to be out of the retrace, even though I really enjoyed the work, the people, well, until they vanished.. We managed to travel, Europe, camping, Northwest, Southwest, Queensland, fell into Viking River cruises, Amsterdam to Budapest, last one was Into the Midnite Sun, Bergen North, then Scotland, Shetlands, ending in London.. We planned on camping more, and other overseas ventures, but Covid killed it all.. I did just send off our passports for renewal today... Meanwhile, DD's health issues, a multiple family house shuffle, help here n there as we can.. Snuck us all into cabins at Yosemite for several days, while DD was more mobile, if anything, she did better at altitude than I did.. And now we're centered on her care, relieving our SIL's overwhelming load as the sell their old home, try to settle into the gifted new one.. Anyway, every day begins with never knowing for sure what's needed or where, fill in the gaps, since my retirement, I've lost 2 brothers, one BIL, other workmates, friends, HS classmates. All part of the game, and none were Covid related, just the frailties of time, BIL was 102, brothers mid & late 80s... Anyway, if it's time, it's time, we have no guarantees, as long as the finances work out, too, go for it, enjoy... We happened to hit it right, pension, dividends, SS, they do add up to a fair amount of security.. Way, way beyond my, or DW's parents, ever could have imagined... It's let us help our kids, grandkids, and still travel, etc.. We don't do new cars, or new RVs, but make what we manage last for us... Remodeling, roofing, painting, plumbing fixes as well.. Go for it!!weco
For me, a bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work.PSU
No problems. First couple years was gone one third the time - either around the country or international travel.trips to Thailand, Europe, Costa Rica, Guadeloupe, to start. A month in Thailand. Weeks in Costa Rica. 300,000 miles in 10 years of roaming around the USA. Big trip to AK for a month. Same to HI. Retired early (52.5) so did a lot of travel with minimal issues.Slowing down after 20 years. Been most places I wanted to go. COVID slowing me down on domestic travel and haven't been on a plane to overseas in 7 or 8 years it seems. Just not into the 'tourist bit' any longer. When COVID ends - I'll resume some domestic travel for week or two week trips. Think the days of 30-40 days on the road are over at age 75. Well, maybe come deep winter (in DFW) I'll think about a week or two in 'warm' place. Didn't even bother to renew passport..... nothing overseas is calling my name to come visit.Dunno...if I had waited till 65 to 'retire', I probably would have missed out on lots of travel. My parents from age 65 to 72 or so took a guided tour here and there - kicked back and let them do the work. I always traveled single. ( and most of the tours just hit the top (usually boring) attractions - another bloody church - another bloody castle, etc. Town center. etc. t.
Perhaps some folks are single by choice, married or they lost their spouse in retirement.Covid has made Everything, everything upside down for everyone.It has made it a very lonely retirement for many, especially those who have lost their spouse.No longer are there 'projects', driven by each other and trips to Home Depot.nag:-(
We haven't had anyone with Covid in our Old People's Home resident population of 800, but of course, with a large part of the population over 80 there have been deaths during the last 16 or so months,,, But in this amazing community people rally round to help the widow or widower, not wanting to intrude, but showing in many ways there will always be friends and support close by.....and of course there is a support group that meets frequently for those who have lost a spouse or friend who choose to go and share some of their feelings with others.Those who are single can go to the "hospitality" table any time they want to eat with others, and if you prefer privacy and a new life on your own, no one will intrude or nag you....My newly retired husband, who had a busy work-life coaching Silicon Valley CEOs till he was 79 ( yes he is my Toy Boy) is having a wonderful time:* swimming daily* finishing his Memoirs for the family....a gift from a daughter called "Storyworth" which publishes your book, photographs and all. * organizing his massive menu collection. Both Cornell and the Culinary Institute of America are interested in obtaining it...* listening to TED talks almost every day ( they are usually 18 minutes) * working pro bono to help former clients, and also some non-profits....* playing bridge 3 times a week, * starting a genealogical project* reading, planning Date Night, helping our kids and grandkids (in safely distant ways....)*.We're both waiting for our choir to start again, for concerts, theater trips, etc after the Covid problems, and for the cruises and rail trips we had to cancel.... We have been lucky to have saved, so we have no anxiety about money right now.(who knows what the Stock Market will do)... Retirement seems a very pleasant stage in our very happy lives. We have health issues but we are in a good place for that too....And my mother always said if you find yourself in a good situation, make sure you help others to have a happier life..........so I have lots of things I can do....
What you do in retirement is pretty much determined by your/spouse's/family's health, wealth, interests/hobbies, energy/drive, intellectual curiosity, desire for physical challenge, enjoyment of DIY vs preference for being waited on. hmm, just like one's pre-retirement life ;-)Caregiving for a spouse with advanced dementia limits me to staying close to home other than errands and walks, reading, listening to music, watching tv, cooking, chores, talking/texting on the phone--frequently interrupted by making sure the hubster isn't getting into mischief (and if he is, trying to handle it--sometimes easier said than done). Also trying to handle the health & happiness of someone who can barely communicate.At the moment my sleep is interrupted by his loud snoring. Not typical, so I hope this isn't the new normal. (No, I can't sleep with earplugs because I can't tolerate items in my ears--can't use phone earbuds either.)Luckily post-retirement and pre-dementia I got to live my travel dreams, including lots of fun planning, plus attending performances, spending time with people I like.NB More people wish they'd retired earlier than wish they retired later.Ahhh...the snoring magically reduced to a dull roar. I could sleep if I weren't fully awake =8-0 Luckily I have some books online, plaus I can se what happened in the world since a few hours ago.
finishing his Memoirs for the family....a gift from a daughter called "Storyworth" which publishes your book, photographs and all.If he enjoys doing it, that's great. But would anyone else be interested when he's done? Or maybe I'm just weird. My g-ma left a family tree that she spent a lot of time researching. She got it back to the 1500s, as I recall. It came to me. I kept it in a drawer for a few years, never once looking at it (other than the initial perusal when I received it). No interest. Finally tossed it as "clutter". No one else would have been interested (my family is very small...no siblings, no 1st cousins).If he's doing it for "the family", be sure the family actually wants it.I'm in sort of a similar situation with my photography. I like it, but when I'm gone, what will happen to the images? I expect they will disappear with a dying hard drive. I do have backup, but no one will see that. And it will expire when I stop paying them.Retirement seems a very pleasant stage in our very happy lives.I'm hoping that will be the case for us. The past 18 months have almost been a dry-run. Except for the cancer thing, and the broken back thing. But a lot of time spent around the house. Some dreaming of trips to take, things to see.
I wake up every morning with nothing to do. I work as fast as I can, but by the end of the day I still have nothing to do. My theory is that if you have “problems with retirement” then you’re not doing it right,
In answer to 1poorguy, it was my daughter who gave him the gift of Storyworth. Both daughters are interested in family stories, and DD1 who gave the gift, often sends questions of her own.Storyworth sends you a question once a week. If you like the question...fine, you write what you want and send it in the "reply" section to them. If you don't like the question, don't write. My daughter also gets them to send HER questions to her dad....She gave me the same gift of Storyworth. I don't think I'm very interesting so I don't often bother answer the questions. But one recent question was "Have you had any contact with famous people?" and direct and indirect examples flowed from my fingers quite easily.... Lawrence Olivier, Stravinsky, Paul Jaray, Hans Jaray, Benjamin Britten, Geoffrey Palmer,Freud's daughter etc etc. etc.....nothing important but some fun memories for ME, anyway....I may have written before, in another context on the Boards, the silly story about my brother who was invited to have dinner with the Queen and Prince Phillip on their Royal Yacht. My brother didn't want to go. He was in his tux and my mother was straightening his tie and he said "What on earth will I talk about?" and my mother said "Don't worry, dear. Just ask her about her dogs."Silly stories, but my girls can have a laugh.Many people here heard my husband give a presentation about "Storyworth" and saw his book, so a lot of people are now using Storyworth to begin to write their own memoirs......because they don't become boring chronological events, but personal answers to some very good questions, both philosophical and practical.Young people are not interested in old people's lives. But when you were about 60 or so, weren't you a little curious about your family and didn't you wish you had asked more questions when your parents were alive? I'm sorry to hear you threw away the family tree.....it's amazing how far back your mother could go......
I'm sorry to hear you threw away the family tree...I've always loved history so this is also a little surprising in a way, although to each his own. As a child (> 40 years ago), I worked on a family tree with my aunt who had a handwritten description of her side of the family that went back to the early 18th century that was written by **her** great aunt who lived from the 1830s until the early 1920s. I loved thinking about all the connections and what was happening in the world at the times and places these people lived. An aside: there is still a grandson of a mid-nineteenth century president alive, Harrison Tyler. His older brother Lyon just died last winter at age 95. Interesting to think how only three generations spanned from 1790 to 2021.Pete
But when you were about 60 or so, weren't you a little curious about your family and didn't you wish you had asked more questions when your parents were alive? I'm sorry to hear you threw away the family tree.....it's amazing how far back your mother could go......Not quite there yet. A couple years short of 60.And, no, I wasn't really curious. A bunch of names I don't know, from towns I don't know.Supposedly on my dad's side, I'm related to Billie Burke. "Burke" is a name on my dad's side, so it's plausible. She is supposedly my 4th cousin. Or was (she's long since died). I find TED talks much more interesting than a bunch of people I've never heard of, whom by some accident I'm related to. Heck, go back far enough and we're all related. You and I share an ancestor, possibly as recently as 1000 years ago (we're both Caucasian, from what I gather, and have English/German ancestry). That's more interesting than some mayor in a hamlet from 500 years ago.But it was a passion of my g-ma, and she apparently enjoyed it. So that's what mattered for her.
I've always loved history so this is also a little surprising in a way, although to each his own.I like history too. But more from the aspect of events leading to other events, unintended consequences, etc. That's why I love the series Connections. But a tree of "begats" isn't interesting to me. As I said, g-ma liked it. So that's great. If I had a relative to pass it on to, I would have. But I have no one close on the blood line. It was just taking up space.
CNC: I wake up every morning with nothing to do. I work as fast as I can, but by the end of the day I still have nothing to do.GH: My theory is that if you have “problems with retirement” then you’re not doing it right,My theory is 'oh good! another fluff piece, by some flunky who has been assigned to write a story on the perils of retirement.'<cynicism on >Lets' see... We (US) have a bunch of jobs needing workers, so why would BI's job creators want this type 'story' published? TPTB gotta scare the mob working as long as possible! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.<cynicism off... or not>>>:-)ralph, who is busily retired, following the CNC and GH plan.Personally... I PITY those folks who fear retirement, based on these type manipulative 'stories'.
alstro: What you do in retirement is pretty much determined by your/spouse's/family's health, wealth, interests/hobbies, energy/drive, intellectual curiosity, desire for physical challenge, enjoyment of DIY vs preference for being waited on. hmm, just like one's pre-retirement life ;-)Caregiving for a spouse with advanced dementia limits me to staying close to home other than errands and walks, reading, listening to music, watching tv, cooking, chores, talking/texting on the phone--frequently interrupted by making sure the hubster isn't getting into mischief (and if he is, trying to handle it--sometimes easier said than done). Also trying to handle the health & happiness of someone who can barely communicate.You should compare notes with my MIL. Her husband (FIL) is flat on his back in a hospital bed they set up in a spare bedroom. He became ill just before Crispness 2018. (Asthma, COPD, congestive heart failure) When he was released from hospital to home, they called in hospice. We (Countess and I) figured hospice was a death sentence - three months to live. He has left the house only twice since then - both times to go to a medical appt. or once back to the hospital At first he was semi-ambulatory. Hospice provided him a wheelchair which he refused to use at first. Later he would go to the dinner table in the wheel chair (MIL had to push him - he has no strength*.). Meanwhile they were getting visits three times a week from hospice, including weekly from an LVN. He had another relapse and went back to the hospital where he stayed a week. Back home he mainly stayed parked in his lounger chair and watched TV. He used to read a lot of fiction novels from the library, but now he couldn't follow the story lines. It got to the point he couldn't walk at all, so she had to push him around in the wheelchair. (MIL is not very healthy herwonse'f) She set up the hospital bed arrangement early this year. He had no say in that (Only time I have known her to disobey him.) Now they are e getting someone in every day to help with him - draining their treasury. The health care workers decided (based on his condition) he had only two weeks to live. That was three months ago. We are still waiting. They set up a TV in his bedroom so he had something to do. He can't use the remote control, so he calls her every time he wants to turn it on or to change channels. At this point, even MIL as ready for him to die (Everyone else was ready some time ago. I suggested he might "accidentally" suffocate in his own pillow.) This story is an object lesson to those who want to "Die at home in my own bed." It sometimes ain't pretty. Back when we had our drapery and window coverings business, I would sometimes see old people living in their large expensive homes, alone except for the care giver and cleaning lady. Sometimes with some dementia. It was not pretty. I swore to not expose the Countess to this. (I am some years older than she is.) This lead to the search for a retirement home. (Thanks to maloishi for showing us her place - it's really very nice.) We applied and were accepted at a nice retirement home (CCRC) in Carlsbad (CA). Been on their waiting list for more than three years. Getting tired of waiting. (Seems ghoulish to be waiting for someone to die so we can have their apartment.) Next week we are going back to re-visit the Reata Glen in San Juan Capistrano https://expectmore.reataglen.com/retire/?utm_source=bing&... We visited there when construction was just starting - just a hole in the ground and a trailer for an office. Now it is mostly built out, so we though it might be prudent to go back and check them out. It's larger and newer than the place in Carlsbad, and has more facilities. But Carlsbad is right on the ocean, and Reata Glen is maybe a five mile drive and across I-5. Very similar to (and built by the same company)Maloishi's placce.CNC*The chair hospice provided is called a "Transport" chair. Four wheels, apparently intended for use in a hospital - hard to roll over a carpet. So we bought him a "real" wheelchair with large wheels which roll easier over the carpet. Bought (separately) a seat belt to hold him in the chair.
The bit I have a problem with is the exorbitant entry fee. I can deal with the high rent because you get a lot of services/features. But a lot of these places want something like $500K up-front. I note they didn't discuss pricing at the link you sent.malaoshi's place looks very nice. As I recall they wanted $500K. It's been a few years, but I actually contacted them to see what the deal was (for 1poormom, before her fall).
1pg: The bit I have a problem with is the exorbitant entry fee. I can deal with the high rent because you get a lot of services/features. But a lot of these places want something like $500K up-front. I note they didn't discuss pricing at the link you sent.You might want to look at El Castillo in Santa Fe. https://search.yahoo.com/local/s;_ylt=Awr9CKsISAthsWIAPURXNy... We visited there, and it is much more affordable than the ones we see in CA, both the move-in and the monthly. It's right on the Plaza and beautiful.malaoshi's place looks very nice. As I recall they wanted $500K. It's been a few years, but I actually contacted them to see what the deal was (for 1poormom, before her fall). $500K might get you into a one bedroom apartment there. CNC
1pg: The bit I have a problem with is the exorbitant entry fee. I can deal with the high rent because you get a lot of services/features. But a lot of these places want something like $500K up-front. I note they didn't discuss pricing at the link you sent.I think I mentioned that our house will cover the move in costs. We have a small balance on an expensive house.The monthly fee includes room and board and housecleaning.CNC
I may consider an old people's home in about 30 years. First I have to be an old peoples.PSU
I may consider an old people's home in about 30 years. First I have to be an old peoples.PSU I think they mainly want everyone to be over 65 upon entry.CNC
I think they mainly want everyone to be over 65 upon entry.I don't consider 65 to be old. I'm 57. In 30 years, I'm starting to get old.PSU
I think they mainly want everyone to be over 65 upon entry.I don't consider 65 to be old. I'm 57. In 30 years, I'm starting to get old.PSU I have known people who were old at 65. I am not old at 83. Shoot,I haven't even grown up!But I want the comfort of a secure apartment, with regular house cleaning. hot (restaurant quality) meals, surrounded by my peers. Maybe even find some decent bridge players. Being near the ocean is a plus. As is an upscale community and a good walking neighborhood.CNC
But I want the comfort of a secure apartment, with regular house cleaning. hot (restaurant quality) meals, surrounded by my peers. Maybe even find some decent bridge players. Being near the ocean is a plus. As is an upscale community and a good walking neighborhood.Yep, different people have different needs. I like cooking so I don't others making my hot meals. I'm not all that social so I don't need to be near my peers. I doubt the other residents want to see me processing a deer out in the shared area.PSU
I doubt the other residents want to see me processing a deer out in the shared area.Hah! I once stayed in a motel in some small town in Texas, forget where it was. But as I was walking out to my car that evening, I passed an open door into someone else's room. They had the beds shoved to the walls and had a clear plastic sheet on the floor of the motel room where they were busy butchering a deer on the floor. Too funny.Tim
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