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"If only I had a child to sell." Even a child as ugly as me could net me the $60,000 I need to move 300 feet to a nicer neighborhood.

That is what they mean when they say "Children are our most important investment," right?

Of all the terrible things to say! How can you possibly think of selling off a child? Like cars, they're much more valuable broken down into parts (more difficult to trace that way, too).

Do you have any idea what the going rate is for stem cells these days? Or replacement organs, healthy ones that can be easily accepted by people so desperate for, say, a new kidney, that they will snatch one off the black market, no questions asked other than "does it work"?

That's the real reason you're not living in that nicer neighborhood. You don't maximize your profit opportunities. You've got to look at the whole picture.

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