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This board & TMF in general have been such a large part of my life over the last several years that I scarcely feel like anything can happen in my life without sharing it here. Such is the case now, and I would like to ask for your support in whatever form it may take over the next several days, whether it be prayer, thought, sending vibes, etc.

On Thursday Gordon and I went to the OB/GYN for our first prenatal appointment. We had the ultrasound, and there was no detectable heartbeat, and it appears that there has been no fetal growth in approximately 2 weeks. It appears that our baby has died.

We are going in for another ultrasound Monday at 1pm to see if anything has changed - there is a *very* slim chance that everything is fine, but odds are extremely high that this pregnancy is over. Assuming that is, in fact, the case, I will be undergoing a D&C on Thursday since I have not begun to miscarry. I still feel completely pregnant, and I am having all the typical symptoms and signs of a 'normal' pregnancy so far.

I will probably not be posting much over the next several days as I move through this process. My energy level varies widely, but even at its highest right now it isn't very high. I will let you know what is going on as I feel able to, and I will be sure to tell someone from TMF who can post about how things are going for me if I do not feel up to it.

Also, I want everyone to know that while this has been a shock for us, over the course of this weekend I have moved into a state of gentle surrender about it. It will be what it is, and I am working through my emotions about it as best I can. My intention is to move through this with as much grace and ease as possible.

So please keep Gordon, me, and our child in your hearts and minds over the next few days. I would be most grateful.

Thank you.

Cassandra
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