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Scientists Allay Fears around Global Jellyfish Boom

Wait a minute. That cannot be right.

What happened to the worldwide conspiracy of scientists to instigate massive fear about global warming so that they can launch a massive international crash program costing trillions of dollars and advancing the cause of socialism? Huh?

If we want to be successful with this worldwide conspiracy thing, then we need to be consistent about it. We need an immediate transfer of a trillion dollars from the US to the Third World, administered by a special United Nations Agency for the Defeat of Jellyfish and the Advancement of Socialism (UNADJAS).

We can't go around allaying fears. That would undermine the revolution!

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