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She had to make her own mistakes

That. Some of us (meaning ME) are stubborn past any point of reason. I ran away from home and stayed out for *years* because I wouldn't admit defeat. I stayed in a bad marriage for *years* because I wouldn't admit defeat. When I recovered my senses each time, the parent I went to for help/sympathy/advice wasn't the one who'd driven all my activities into hiding. It was the one who would always tell me why they felt I was making a bad choice, but without making our relationship hing on doing it their way. Not more lenient, just more... I don't know how to describe it. They picked their battles, while the other one made everything so earth shattering that we both lost our sense of proportion, and I lost any respect for their judgement. If they made such a big deal over something like coming home 5 minutes late from school, there was no place to elevate their outrage over me sneaking out at night. It was all just noise to me.

I made some crappy choices. They both knew it at the time and both told me so. But one was always there for ME regardless of whether or not they'd tolerate certain behavior from me. It was a fine line to walk. The older I get, the more impressed I am with it. And the more I respect them for it.

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