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Shorts

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.


The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow.


A good listener is usually thinking about something else.


Marriage still confers one very special privilege. Only a married person can get divorced.


All the crows seemed to call his name, thought Caw.


As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.


Anything preying on my mind would starve to death.


Why is it women love cookbooks, but they tend to keep cooking the same meals over and over?


It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to mow it.


I'm not cheap, but I AM on special this week.


Where there's a will, I want to be in it.


I used to have a photographic memory, but it was never developed.


I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.


Analyzing humour is like analyzing a frog: you can do it, but the frog tends to die in the process.

Due to financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket



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