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I was a good R&B and hip hop dancer in my 20s. Now in a return to my Latin roots, I, as a single 40 year old man, am attempting to learn the latin dances (Salsa, Cha Cha, Merengue, Bachatta). In Chicago, the places I dance are learning environments. 80% of the people who dance freely dance with the singles and most singles dance only a song or two and look for another partner who may have a different skill set. Sometimes people hook up and dance as a couple. In a trip to South Florida, I did not always find the same learning environments although Cafe Iguana was fairly similar.

I have only been learning Latin dance since November. Recently, I met the most beautiful women who I have ever called a friend at one of the Latin nights. Although she may be too short to be a model, she is so incredibly beautiful that she should be a playboy bunny or something. We like to dance together. However, because so many expert dancers dance at the places I dance, I think I am keeping her from learning by monopolizing her. I think if I were a better dancer, I would feel like I could monopolize her without holding her back. Alternatively, if I were so beautiful, that I was her counterpart I would feel that I should be dancing with her. I consider myself quite sexy, but not beautiful in the same way that she is. I think if I were a better dancer, I would feel more inner beauty in the dance environment and thus feel like I should be monopolizing her. Does this make sense?

The other day I heard Sarah Jessica Parker say on a talk show that she feels bad about monopolizing Matthew Broderick because she sees he has great chemistry with many of the actresses he works with. This confused the heck out of me. She feels bad about having taken him off the market for some reason. I am still trying to figure out if her perspective on monogamy was biased because she was in heat sitting next to Matthew The reigning "Sexiest Man Alive" McConaughey.

Getting back to me. There are some very experienced Latin Dancers who spin my friend around very gracefully in ways I can't. Then I started thinking about dance like sex. If I knew, I was only novice in bed, I wouldn't want someone I liked to have sex go off with other more experienced guys because she could have more fun with them. I would hope she would be satisfied with my performance. Should I feel that I should just dance with her as if it doesn't matter how good I am?

"Have nunchucks. Will travel."-JCoC
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