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Sorry, forgot to respond to specifics in your post, joycet. Want to do so.

I remember when I had my Wedding Cat (got right after marriage) die, (1977-1993), I took her last photos to a fox photo where I knew the woman working there from years of old photos, even though it was not close to home. It was a very challenging month, with an accident that totaled my car and a husband in the hospital with kidney stones and the cat was dead when he came home from the hospital. But still, such a small thing as sharing this with a photo processor helped. (I know. we don't DO that any more with pictures much).

Am genuinely sad to hear about your Wedding Cat, 16-years of love. I love animals too. And have a few cats. So much going on for you at one time and then a loss of a beloved pet. For some reason, your mentioning immediately recalled to me tenworlds' last post. I recall he went through a period of severe depression as well and had survived a serious suicide attempt. In his post, he indicated some precipitating traumas in his life, not least was the final straw, the death of his 13-years-old cat, Jane, killed by a fox.

If nothing else, I feel more connected to pets than to people. The grief of the lost of a pet I suspect could be as keenly felt as a human loss, but with much less sympathy by most. Unrelieved or unaddressed grief though not common for some, can be a contributing factor for depression, or spiraling.

When I was not working I found that going to my church every week and playing music there gave me An Anchor, a place to go and be. Hopefully you can find something to attend, whatever your belief, I don't mean necessarily a religious activity. I also have a crochet group that meets (sort of ) weekly (I have no idea if they met the day after Xmas but I doubt it, I was with a friend who needed help).

Thank you for mentioning it and the suspicion that I'm not religious, which is accurate, LOL. Recently, I've had two people who have some religious affiliation try to give me support while also pushing their religious aspects on me. I love the idea of something like a crochet group, or something - literally and physically - handy. If nothing else, I think since I have mild aspergers / autism features, being able to focus on something physical and external can help sooth me. It might be like a grownup version of "stimming" for children with autism, a term short for "self-stimulatory behavior." Basically, different types of repetitive behaviors such as rocking, flapping, spinning, but can also include repetition of words, phrases, sounds, or for other children, lining up objects, ordering things, etc. For background, go under section "repetitive behaviors" at this link (tried to copy to paste an excerpt, but cannot for some reason).
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