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<rant>
Ever notice how tons of people say that they will do whatever you need whenever your family member is sick/in the hospital, and yet sometimes you still can't get what you need?

I need the following:

a) I need to not have to worry about working while this crap is going on. I have a great work ethic - fabulous in fact. Yet, even if you let me work remotely I really wish I didn't HAVE to. Yes, I know I can go negative on PTO (since I'm brand new at my job) but who the heck wants to do that when they may get sick themselves?

b) I need a big fat bowl of red thai curry with some duck or chicken in it, thankyouverymuch. What I end up with is Taco John's. Not.The.Same.

c) I need lessons on how to help bathe a big guy so's he gets clean and we don't create a swimming pool in the hospital room.

d) I need sleep. A lot of it. PLEASE.

e) I need everyone to shut their fat trap about how much more or less time I should be spending at the hospital with my hubby. I don't want to spend FIVE SECONDS here, you jacka$$es. I also don't want to spend FIVE SECONDS away from him, either. I will do what makes sense to me on a given day and you can subsequently kiss my butt if you don't like it.

f) I need someone to mow my lawn. Nobody wants to do this.

g) I need someone to do my laundry.

</rant>
I will grant you, some of the above are things that I haven't really bothered people with - mostly because I can only infringe upon people so much, but also because the people I should most be able to infringe upon would look at me like i'm a Bad Wife if I told them the thing I need most is a bowl of red curry and assurance that my grass is going to get cut.

I'm tired.

d
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email me your location and I will arrange to have this delivered.

peace & thai food
t
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email me your location and I will arrange to have this delivered.

Thanks. I'm trying to wrangle it out of my SIL at the moment but will let you know if I need to take you up on this. :o)

d
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Do you have a neighbor kid who could cut the grass? I'll send a check!

Gail
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Hang in there, dk.

When my mom was sick, everyone inundated her with flowers and cards, especially with the first cancer.

The thing that helped the most was the time these two ladies - the ones she wasn't even that close with - brought over dinner one night. Everything, including paper plates and napkins.

She still talks about that.

I guess what I am saying is maybe the folks in your life just need some direction. I mean, be really clear. "Joe, you said you wanted to help. Can you drop off take out dinner for me tomorrow night at my house/at the hospital? Thanks!" "'Laurie, I need cat/dog food. Here is the brand name and a $20. Thank you."

I probably drove my neighbor nuts after her husband died; I flooded her with baked goods 'cause I didn't know what else to do for her. I would have jumped at the chance to do something specific.

We are thinking of you and your husband.

-Molly
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f) I need someone to mow my lawn. Nobody wants to do this.


Do any of your neighbors use a landscaping service/mowers? See if they can do your lawn, too. Yes, it'll be an expense, but it sounds like it'll be worth it so you have one less thing to worry about.
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b) I need a big fat bowl of red thai curry with some duck or chicken in it, thankyouverymuch. What I end up with is Taco John's. Not.The.Same.

I'll trade you a thai curry for a potato ole, if you can wait until T gets home late this evening.

mmmmmm.....taters and cheese.....

f) I need someone to mow my lawn. Nobody wants to do this.

g) I need someone to do my laundry.

d) I need sleep. A lot of it. PLEASE.


IDEA!

Why not have some friends over this weekend to clean/launder/mow?

As long as it's not raining, we all ought to be able to get it done. You'll want to assign me to mowing, I tend to shrink clothing in the dryer.

impolite
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FWIW: T and I are available Friday evening, for a mow-and-clean. Let me know if you want us to come by then - you can have the laundry sorted and I'll start on it while he mows.

He'll probably even mow it in *straight lines*, which is more than I can say for myself.

impolite
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mostly because I can only infringe upon people so much, but also because the people I should most be able to infringe upon would look at me like i'm a Bad Wife if I told them the thing I need most is a bowl of red curry and assurance that my grass is going to get cut.

Bah! That sucks. Because you are certainly not a bad wife for needing those things.

Take imp up on the offer for laundry and mowing help. Hopefully, CameraNerd will be home by Friday, but you still will want some assistance so you can focus on the other stuff.

As others on the thread have already said, I'll be happy to pitch in $/phone call to get you thai curry. Does CN like thai curry too?

c) I need lessons on how to help bathe a big guy so's he gets clean and we don't create a swimming pool in the hospital room.

Have you asked the nursing staff for recommendations or training? I also found this link, which might be helpful: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/158714/how_to_give_...
and the no-rinse bath stuff really isn't so bad
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=14491&cat...
or the wipes:
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=79888&cat...
most drugstores carry 'em. You could certainly ask one of your family or local friends to grab some for you.

(((dk and CN))) I've been thinking about you all day, wonderign how thigns are going. I'm sorry it's not a lot smoother.
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I love all you people.

You're great. I am constantly amazed by this community.

First...and update.....can't remember if I already posted this here since it's been a long day and I've talked to a lot of people BUT.....

Looks like the thingie by his Ptooeytary Gland is not a Ptooeytary tumor but instead is a meningioma - benign tumor that probably doesn't have anything to do with his symptoms. They are going to just do scans every so often and monitor it.

So, they have pretty much decided that he just had a mild stroke and that the thing to do is to rest and take it easy, but not just lay in bed all the time. They are having him get up and walk around a bit more to see if his symptoms are better/worse/the same. When he is able to move around a decent amount and not have terrible head pain, they will let him go home to recover. We're hoping that might even be tomorrow.

Now, onto all the great offers I've gotten.

Hunzi, I sent my address that you requested to your email.

imp, I will think about your offer to come help on the weekend. Whether we do this depends on whether he is home and how he feels about having people around. The biggest reason I've really needed some of the help is that I can't BE at home much except to sleep right now, which gets easier if he goes home. :o)

tconi and everyone who offered to chip in for Thai food delivery - that is one of the Most Nicest Things Ever. Unfortunately, the closest thai place doesn't deliver here. I am, however, getting a bit of a second wind and think I might be up for driving the extra few miles to go treat myself to that tonight. And I am going to buy EXTRA because I found a microwave at the hospital, so I will either be taking it to work tomorrow (if I elect to go to the office) or to the hospital.

thanks, thanks, thanks.

d
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imp, I will think about your offer to come help on the weekend. Whether we do this depends on whether he is home and how he feels about having people around. The biggest reason I've really needed some of the help is that I can't BE at home much except to sleep right now, which gets easier if he goes home. :o)


I understand - let us know how you both feel about it at the end of the week.

As for laundry, if you need it done before then - most laundromats offer "pay by the pound" laundry service that you drop off and then pick up. You can always drop some on the way in tomorrow morning and pick it up tomorrow afternoon. This might take some of the load off of you.

It's pricey, but totally worth it at times like this.

You also might see what the hospital has to say - they might have a laundry you could make use of. I'm sure CameraNerd could be talked into pairing up socks for you when they come out of the dryer. ;)

impolite
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This is the type of situation where I wish it was easier to do things for people. There are a few things we can over the 'net, but not enough.

Hang in there.

Cosmos
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c) I need lessons on how to help bathe a big guy so's he gets clean and we don't create a swimming pool in the hospital room.

Greetings, dianakalt, the website below has some examples of what we bought for me after my back surgery last summer. It worked best with a handheld sprayer so we could have some control over where the water went but the transfer/slide aspect from outside to inside the tub was just the ticket:

http://www.thefind.com/beauty/info-transfer-shower-bench

I know it won't help you so much in the hospital itself but that's what the patient care technicians are there to do. I remember feeling like it was an incredible luxury to have help with my first shower following my surgery and the patient care tech was just excellent at it.

Will CameraNerd be eligible for any home health services (home health physical therapy, etc.) and will any of those services include an in-home lesson on how to utilize a transfer shower bench or its equivalent? I found it was WAY cheaper to get the durable medical equipment from our hospital case management connections than to buy it even at a site such as the one above. If you haven't yet talked to case management, that would be a good thing to try to do tomorrow before discharge. They are full of amazing resources you never knew were even out there.

xraymd
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I'll chime in with an answer to this one:-

I need lessons on how to help bathe a big guy so's he gets clean and we don't create a swimming pool in the hospital room.

Towels. Lots of towels and face-washers/flannels/wash-cloths (are they called "face cloths" in the States? I don't remember). Wring the wash-cloths out well. Use a separate cloth to "rinse" off the soap.

If you want the technical bit, this is how I'd teach students to do a bed bath: You need a big bowel of hot water and some soap. Fold away or remove as much bedding as possible, cover the remainder and the patient with towels. Only uncover the part of the patient that is to be washed then cover it up afterwards (a, to keep them warm and b, to maintain their dignity). Wet a wash-cloth and ensure it is well rung out before soaping it up and then wiping it over the area to be washed. Use a separate cloth to rinse off/remove the soap. Start at the head and work down the body. Leave the genital area until last (since this is the area associated with the most germs, washing it last helps to avoid spreading them). Let the patient do as much as they can for themselves but always offer to wash their back.

It's not perfect, but it feels great when you're stuck in bed.

If CameraNerd is allowed up and about, the "plastic chair in the shower cubicle" is one of the greatest inventions ever. Set the shower temperature first, though.

- Pam (keeping fingers crossed about an early discharge)
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f) I need someone to mow my lawn. Nobody wants to do this.

I would do it if I lived near you. Last weekend, I aerated my next door neighbors lawn after I finished my yard.

PSU
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Greetings, dianakalt, the website below has some examples of what we bought for me after my back surgery last summer. It worked best with a handheld sprayer so we could have some control over where the water went but the transfer/slide aspect from outside to inside the tub was just the ticket:

http://www.thefind.com/beauty/info-transfer-shower-bench



My father is disabled and large. Since he visits only once per year, we just put a metal folding chair in the shower. It works fine for the short amount of time it is needed.

PSU
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A little pampering package went off to the post office today! Look for it Friday.

Always ;-)
Hunzi

Joann Floyd
MDP Home Fool
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