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Subject: Schedule for 2008 Democratic Convention

That's funny, I really was just about to post the Schedule for 2008 Republican Convention

7:00 p.m. Opening Purple Heart Bandaid ceremony and desecration of wounded vets

7:10 p.m. Pledge of Allegiance to George Bush

7:30 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

7:35 p.m. Evangelical Prayer to God Creator of the Republican Party

8:00 p.m. Section ommitted due to National Security

8:05 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

8:10 p.m. Alberto Gonzales: how to fit 124 "I don't recalls" into 35 minutes of questioning

8:20 p.m. Timeline for bombing Iran

8:25 p.m. Section ommitted due to National Security

8:35 p.m. Karl Rove on how the Republicans actually won the 2006 mid-terms according to his numbers

8:45 p.m. Collection for the defence of the 56 Republican Sebators and Congressmen presently under investigation or in prison

9:00 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

9:15 p.m. Rumsfeld on where the WMD really are dropped due to National Security

9:20 p.m. Collection to benefit the KKK

9:30 p.m. Keynote Speech: Ann Coulter on how Iraq is just like New York

9:40 p.m. How I avoided serving due to a butt boil by dick Cheney

9:45 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

9:50 p.m. Outline of future plans to monitor every single phone call and every single email by every single American dubbed the "We listen to Everyone" plan.

9:55 p.m. Short lesson on how to not tell the truth by Paul Wolfowitz

10:00 p.m. Presentation: "How to solicit gay males in public restrooms" by senator Craig

10:15 p.m. Presentation: "How to text message page boys" by Mark Foley

10:30 p.m. Prayer to god to allow one more terrorist attack so that the Republicans can win in '08

10:35 p.m. Presentation: "How to accept bribes gracefully" by Duke Cunningham

10:50 p.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

11:05 p.m. Condoleeza Rice outlines plans to level New orleans

11:10 p.m. Presentation: "How to distribute bribes" by Abramoff

11:15 p.m. "We must stay the course" - discussion behind closed doors due to National Security

11:30 p.m. Coronation of George Bush

12:00 a.m. Ceremonial waterboarding of a token Muslim

12:05 a.m. Declkaration of War on (country to be decided yet)
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