Skip to main content
Non-financial boards have been closed.

Non-financial boards have been closed but will continue to be accessible in read-only form. If you're disappointed, we understand. Thank you for being an active participant in this community. We have more community features in development that we look forward to sharing soon. | The Motley Fool Community
Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
No. of Recommendations: 16
My father past away last week. Here's an little background info, and an update.
As you may recall, Sunday before Thanksgiving I posted that I was making an emergency trip to LA:

Thank you to to all who offered help & support. Fortunately, we were able to reach my wife's cousins, and I was able to stay with them.

My dad had survived over a year since his diagnosis, and I really thought he had another year or two left. But about six weeks ago my dad's pancreatic cancer stopped responding to the chemo, and it started to progress very fast.

After consulting with his oncologist on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, my dad decided to stop all treatment.

I got the news that night, and immediately booked a flight to LA. By 3:30 Monday afternoon, I was at my father's bedside. He was lucid and we were able to talk and say all the important things that we wanted to share with each other. He was very weak, but fortunately he wasn't in much pain.

Thank G-d I got there Monday, because by Tuesday he was too weak to talk, and only woke up once, for less than 30 seconds.

I was right beside him when my father passed away in his sleep on Tuesday afternoon. He and his wife (my stepmother) weren't observant, and so no Jewish mortuary was involved, and no arrangements for a shomer could be made.

So I was his shomer, staying up all night saying Tehillim, until his guf was picked up by the cremation company. He had insisted on being cremated, which is contrary to halacha. After he was nifter, I tried to raise the issue with his wife, but she was adamant about following his wishes.

Some authorities say we do not sit Shiva for someone who is intentionally cremated (see, for example, Rabbi Lamm's Jewish Way in Death and Mourning), but after consulting with a posek, it was determined that I should observe Shiva starting Wednesday.

(My father was Tinok Shenishba; his father was raised in a Christian orphanage, which is why it's such a neis that my father has three children who all became Orthodox as adults, all independently of each other.)

I just got up from Shiva this morning.
Print the post  


When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.