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Thanks, Ishtar, I really appreciate your sharing your experience. I want to be as positive as I can about his father in case he ever comes around but more because he is a part of the Monkey. I don't want the Chunky Monkey to ever feel bad about himself or that he is destined to be "just like your father", ya know? Plus there is no point being ugly about it. He has a father, everyone does; he just doesn't have a daddy and that's okay.

His ethnic background is different from mine, too, so I have to contend with that as well. It is amazing how rude some people are. Anyway, my best friend is planning to guide me as CM gets older and I am surrounding him with positive male role models of differing ethnicities. I wondered about putting out pics of him; did you wait until she asked or did you put those out for her from the beginning?

One of my concerns regarding the family issue is that his father has two sons from his first marriage. I don't want the Monkey to feel unwanted; you know, his father is involved with those two and not him. I just don't know how to deal with that; should I tell him about his brothers or not? His father wants nothing to do with him, but his aunt does. It's weird and frustrating; I don't want the Monkey to be hurt and that is my highest priority.

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