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..that money has to be such a hot button issue in a marriage or relationship? I realize there are control issues and such, but why on earth can something as trivial as a dollar cause such passionate problems between two people who love one another? We've been struggling with this for almost 14 years and I grow awfully weary of battling about where to put the payroll.

*who knows that this is your basic rhetorical question, but is always hopeful that there will be pearls of wisdom and experience out there to be unearthed*

Well, I certainly don't have any experience (yet!) and probably no pearls of wisdom, but I can't resist throwing in my two cents...

I've noticed on another board here in Fooldom a prevailing attitude of "I'm right, you're wrong. No discussion." Makes it interesting when several different people with different ideas all have this same attitude... I think we're all convinced our way is right--especially when it comes to money, politics, and religion.

I'm fortunate in that my fiance and I have very similar attitudes and values toward finances. And we don't question or make judgements on each other's purchases. (We do discuss big-ticket items--say over $100. This is something that's just happened, not a specific rule we decided on.)

I personally would not be able to put up with someone who was continually in debt and never saved, but I couldn't stand living with a cheapskate, either. Saving for retirement and emergency and not going into debt are important, but I occasionally want a dinner out and a gift, too.
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