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Being form the Baltimore area, I decided to craft a poem in memory of one the city's former inhabitants.

The Bear (with apologies to E.A.P.)

Once upon a midnight dreary,
While I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious
Volume of financial lore,
Suddenly there came a scraping,
Forcing my mouth into a gaping,
Fearful of my portfolio taking,
A slight loss, or even more.
I was determined to mind the store.

Ah, distinctly I remember,
The gains I had seen a year December,
Glow more brightly than an ember,
Increasing my port's value evermore.
Eagerly I wished the morrow,
Sought the daylight, ease my sorrow,
Wondering if I'd chance to borrow
Via margin, I implore.
I sought the financials of my core.

Louder, louder came the scratching,
As the numbers I was snatching,
Compiling, processing, and batching,
“Speed, Where art thou, I implore?”
More intensely came the bashing,
As I listened to the slashing,
Finally, finally came the crashing,
From the stronghold of my front door,
Which lay perilously upon the floor.

The wind blew loud, the rain came down,
I heard the crash, I turned around,
The ugly sight did make me swound,
I saw it standing there.
I looked into those horrible eyes,
Its drooling mouth considered my size,
The teeth, they hungered for its prize,
Then thus approacheth, came the bear.
My immediate outlook was not fair.

Then I started reading from a page,
As were I invoked to a rage,
I thoughtfully, carefully began to engage,
The battle that was in my lair.
I had my numbers all in line,
My strategy continued to be fine,
I knew eventually I would dine,
On the meat within the bear.
My words flew swiftly through the air.

“Oh dreaded beast, I fear you not,
My DRiP Portfolio, it has got,
The abilities to sustain a shot,
From your beastly presence.
Margin have I always shunned,
I pay no fees to fill a fund,
The talking heads have never stunned,
Me into selling dollars for sixpence.
And now I shall extract my vengeance.”

The bear began to look unsure,
His confidence was no longer cocksure,
So I began again – my encore,
To force the lesson upon him.
“I build my value a bit at a time,
Market downswings with me are fine,
I can then buy more and watch it climb,
Without going out on a limb.
I fear not of sinking – I swim.”

The bear, he turned tail and he ran,
Like a Raven with a large wingspan.
The beast was scared, as he'd heard my plan,
The ghastly beast, now mere henpeck.
I knew I'd see him nevermore,
His shadow'd ne'er approach my door,
The bowels with me approached a roar.
I shouted as his profile became a speck,
“Come back when Warren Buffett buys tech!”

Cheers -

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No. of Recommendations: 0
Bravo! I think Edgar would be proud.
And how 'bout them Ravens! (yes, a little late...)

(Lots of family in Baltimore... but I moved south)
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Very good!!! Vey funny too.I really enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing.
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