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The board specialists told me many "career women" late marryers (sp?) have these fertility issues they NEVER expected to have.

Pet peeve alert. (Not aimed at you, txskygal!)

Am I the only one who heard, through her WHOLE life, that anything after 35 was going to be a problem? It wasn't exactly news to me when that study came out that fertility decreased as you got older - drastically, in fact.

Of course, the media attention to this - characterized by the phrase "career woman" - makes me wonder exactly what population problem I'm missing. The goal seems to be to panic women into having babies AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. And from what I've read, many of the statistics were compiled by counting women over 40 who did not have children - without asking whether they actually WANTED them or not. Not everybody does.

And, now that you mention it, I didn't put of children for my "career." I didn't consciously put off having children at ALL. I wanted a good marriage FIRST, and as it happens I didn't start seeing DH until I was almost 36. It seems to me there's a rather indisious social trend that tries to keep young, attractive women desperate and beating the bushes for a husband.

Facts are one thing. The way the media has taken this and chewed on it is shameful.

Still, facts ARE facts. And I've realized that I'd have been a simply awful parent ten years ago. I think I'd be a good mom now; I KNOW DH will be a good dad (he's already got two, who've grown up pretty nice). If we can't have a baby, I'll be hideously, terribly disappointed. But I still think that'd be better than if I'd brought a child into the world I wasn't psychologically ready to bring up properly.

Just a couple of more optimistic notes to close this rant. ;-)

- DH's surgeon, an odd little man, asked me if I understood what the odds were of us successfully conceiving. I said he'd told us 10-15%, which was consistent with what I'd heard from other sources. He shrugged, and smiled, and said "Well, sure; but it happens all the time."

- My friend's midwife told her the highest incidence of unplanned pregnancy she saw was women in their 40s, who were "winging it" without birth control because they figured they weren't at risk anymore.

Statistics are not people. I choose to be optimistic.

-lizmonster
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